My boyfriend (26M) and I (24F) have been together for about three years. We almost never argue because we’re quite similar as people and communicate well.
A while ago, we each asked the other to make a change for the other’s well-being. He asked me to be more social and relax more, which I’ve been actively working on. I asked him to stop drinking alcohol because I feel it’s unhealthy for him and our future
His drinking is inconsistent: sometimes he just has a beer, but other times he drinks heavily—10 beers or strong liquor. There have been multiple occasions where he drank to the point that he “lost himself” and couldn’t function normally. I know he can stay sober and when he does, it’s clear that he behaves much better and is a completely different person.
He has promised to stop drinking several times, but he always goes back to it. I really love him and I know he wants a future with me and to have a family, but I’m struggling with whether it’ realistic to expect this drinking phase to pass.
My question: How should I handle this situation? Is it reasonable to wait and hope he changes, or should I take other steps now? I’m looking for advice on how to approach this in a way that prioritizes both my well-being and our relationship.
TL;DR: Been with my boyfriend (26M & 24F) for 3 years. His drinking ranges from a single beer to heavy binges with strong liquor. He has promised to stop multiple times but always returns to it. I love him, but I’m unsure if waiting for him to change is realistic. What should I do?