Anyone “restart” at 40?

30 comments

1. I got my shit together at 40. It timed with being addicted to weed. Best shape and mindset I’ve been in a long time

2. Reset at 35. Rehab for drink. Came out literally a changed man. Went from nearly destitute to semi retired with an engineering consultancy and a PhD in 12 years. I also lost 11kg and can’t hike enough. Met a lady 8 years ago and have 2 stepdaughters. I’m thankful for every day. It can be done.

3. I’m nearing 45. Last year I started worrying more about my health, especially diet. I also got laid off and started a completely different career, moving from chemical formulations to sales.

4. Yep. In a big way. Going to continue to make big changes over the next year and hopefully keep moving in a direction that’s going to make me happy and be sustainable for the next 20 years. I don’t think it’s a crisis at all.

5. I was divorced by a terrible woman at 39. Best thing to ever happen to me. I moved abroad, dated tons of new women, then returned to the US and moved to a new city, carried half my career with me, built up the other half in a new field, found a new European live-in girlfriend, traveled to multiple foreign countries with her, found a new group of friends, gained 25 pounds of muscle, became fluent in a foreign language, played full 11v11 soccer again, learned to long-distance swim, etc. That was the first 5 years: the list keeps going. You can change your life, if you want it.

6. Currently pivoting, yup.

7. Absolutely. Reinvented myself as a productive human being after 2 DUIs in my 30s. Now in my late 50’s, peds RN, family man, living the dream.

8. Hey OP, don’t give up….!!! I went through my own reset a bit later than you ….. at 45 I was a family dad who suddenly had his world flipped upside down. Found out my now long divorced ex was having an affair with her boss, and between the emotional hit and the split it cost me significantly…. !! I walked away from not only the relationship but also every friend that was “her” friend, which left me feeling pretty isolated. It shattered me mentally for a while, the toll was much more than I would have ever previously imagined …but I made the choice to focus on what I could control….my job, my kids, and my own future…!!

   I threw myself into work, and it paid off …I was well rewarded, I maxed out my super (401k for the US crowd), and I slowly rebuilt my life. It wasn’t overnight, but I stayed consistent and determined not to spiral. Fast-forward.. I own my place outright, retired 12 months ago at 57, and I’m now travelling and actually enjoying life. So yeah … a reset is absolutely possible. Stay positive, look after yourself, and good luck, OP.

9. Im currently going through a hard reset right now. Fiance left me, so a 14 year relationship down the drain. Lost my job, and struggling to find money to survive in this economy. Then I lost my house. I literally have to move back in with my family at the age of 34.

   Spent a few months moping around..not really doing anything. But now im slowly starting to pick up again. Found a job that pays much less but it’s a start. Saving money now that I dont have my own place anymore. Been hitting the gym 4 to 5 times a week. And starting to hit up dating apps slowly now as well.

   Its tough…and im still in a pretty rough spot. But it gets better. Take time to heal and then make a plan to get better. Keep pursuing that goal religiously. 

10. 36 and I got fired on Wednesday, so literally in the middle of the career part right now.

11. Yep. Me. I posted on this recently:

    > At age 40, I lost everything.

    > Divorce

    > House

    > Savings

    > Career

    > Everything.

    > I had to completely rebuild. And it got a lot worse for me before it got better. I was nearly homeless, living on peanut butter, bread, rice, and canned beans, for a WHILE.

    > Now? 10 years later? Life is fucking awesome. It took about 4 years to get my head above water. Then the last 6 years I’ve been growing rapidly.

    > My career has been rebuilt. Rebuilt my retirement account. Living in a great location. I have a great relationship.

    > It sucked. Hard.

    > But, life is so much better now.

    https://old.reddit.com/r/AskMenOver30/comments/1mngawc/how_do_you_push_through_when_life_is_objectively/n84qx8y/

12. I’m re-setting at 35. Not scared, excited actually.

13. Yep! Cut way back on alcohol. Now at CrossFit 5 days a week. And currently in the process of launching my own company. All in the last 2 years, and I’m turning 42 in October.

    First thing for me was to find a therapist who gets me. I’ve been to therapists before and gotten nowhere. But learned that you’ve gotta find the right match. Schedule intro sessions with a few different ones until you find the right person for you.

    For context, before I found her, I was going through a half bottle of hard liquor daily. And drinking even more on weekends. Fast food for lunches regularly. Lots of red meat. Couldn’t bring myself to maintain any sort of regular workout regimen for more than a week or two.

    My body composition has changed dramatically, though my weight has stayed mostly the same. When I started, my max deadlift at CrossFit was 185lbs. I hit 425lbs six months ago. I’m getting 10-12 servings of fruit and vegetables per day. And I still drink, but in the moderate range of CDC guidance, still working my way down. Mostly limiting myself to a few drinks when we go out on weekends. But I’m noticing the difference even one drink has on my performance, so I’m looking to cut it out completely.

    For me, I learned that CrossFit worked because of the community. I go to have fun and hang out with cool people. Made some great friends. The fitness is just a side effect. That mentality made a world of difference. So I’d recommend taking a similar approach.

    Anyway, know this response was kinda all over the place, but hope it helps!

14. About that age, yes. ‘Mid life’. It’s normal.

    For a lot of people it’s connected to the age you are vs. the time it took to achieve a level of stability where you could even consider who you are and what you actually want to do.

15. Im currently reseting at 35. Locked in a miserable divorce for time being and slowly getting through the recruitment steps for my country’s defence forces.

    If my application is successful and my divorce proceedings don’t destroy my finances entirely (right now, they are), then I’ll still have a property I can rent out and a new place to hopefully live and work within the next year.

16. I quit drinking and changed careers at 40.

17. Hope it can be done. Just turned 47. Been out of work since Feb. Lots of debt just to survive recent months and a big mortgage too. 3 kids are expensive and have 2 x 15 year old cars. Even when i get a job ill be under the yoke as I’ll have a lot to pay back before I’m anywhere near the position I was in a year ago. Feel hopeless and pointless.

18. I was 40 when the pandemic hit and I lost my job. I had been in that industry for 13 years and the job market was dismal. I got an entry level job in a new industry as a chimney sweep apprentice. Five years later and I manage a dozen two-man field crews.

    This has been my third career from entry level to management. It sucks starting over. I get it. You have to reset your entire life around the change in career.

19. I’m hopefully doing it now. Turned 40 in May and I just finished paying off my student loans which will be a big help financially. I also started lifting and occasionally running as well as struggling with sticking to a better diet so I’m in the process of restarting my fitness/health as well.

20. Have a goal, figure out what the steps would be (doesn’t have to be locked in), start going for it.

    Myself, I’m leaving the army at 41 to move deeper into medicine… Though since I joined at 30 I suppose that was another reset. I’m at the career point, and have progressed enough where I could stay in and retire pretty easily…just wasn’t seeing that kind of future for me anymore, for a variety of reasons.

21. Bro. You are not alone I promise you. Fix the alcohol problem first that one will kill you or fuck you up. That will also help with the fat problem.

22. I did at 38, started chasing my dream, lost 115 lbs. it was the best thing I’ve ever done.

23. I’m not 40, I’m younger, but I’m basically restarting it all over again. And it’s not really a big deal imo. Like does any of this really matter. The health part seems hard but once you get a hang of clean foods and just eating less, the weight melts off. What helps me lose weight quick is just light protein smoothies for dinner. People will say you’re starving yourself, but it makes you full, you get nutrients, and you wake up with energy and focus

24. Started over at 40….lost a house, 1/2 my 401k, and a car due to a divorce, but I got my 3 boys (ages were 15,13,and 10 at the time). We made it work in a 3 bedroom rental for 3 years while I worked shift work. I’m now remarried, live in a nice house in a nice neighborhood, and currently putting those 3 boys through college. It was rough at times but we have a good laugh about it now. If any of yall are going through this, keep your head up! There will be times when you just want to give up….don’t! Stick to the basics, I promise you it’ll get better.

25. Not me but my hubby. Lost an adult son and fell into depression. Lost his business (business development consultant) due to depression and covid. He still went to the gym about 4x a week while in depression (prob that was all he did, gym and eat). Met me. We dated. I told him to go get a job. He then worked at the ymca for $7.25. He didn’t complain at all that this job was below him. Then he worked at the hospital as PCT for some extra bucks per hours. Recently he gotna cert in scrum master and got a job. Pretty much a 6 fig salary increase over his previous job. He pretty much turned his life around in his 50s.

26. I feel like I’ve been resetting for so many years but am running out of steam to make any more shifts. I’m 34 and am exhausted. I am running my own business though and, for the first time in my life, I’m making good money and am clawing my way out of debt. I wouldn’t be doing so if I didn’t have the willingness to reset many times prior!

    It’s good to see these other positive stories of people making changes even later in life 🙂

27. I did. 36 years old. Started over. New career. Cost me a lot of money to figure it out. But now I’m an electrical apprentice with the IBEW.

28. I tried to around 37. But the money I was making was too good (even though it wasnt “good”) to try the IT field. I got a degree in IT to make some more cash. But Im making 28/hr as a guard and IT basically demands you start at help desk. Which pays around 17/hr where I am.

29. > blinked and I’m fat and out of shape

    Get a food scale and use an app like Macrofactor to track nutrition.

    Work yourself up to doing enough strength and endurance training to meet the physical activity guidelines for health: https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/where-should-my-priorities-be-to-improve-my-health/

    Check out the FAQ in r/fitness for more info. The Barbell Medicine podcast is also incredible.

    Talking to your doctor about if GLP-1 agonists are right for you might also be a good idea, but not necessary.

    > blinked and found myself struggling with alcohol

    Go to a psychiatrist about this. Ask about [evidence-based treatments like naltrexone](https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/04/the-irrationality-of-alcoholics-anonymous/386255/).

    > Blinked and found myself in debt with no retirement.

    Get a copy of Ramit Sethi’s personal finance book *I Will Teach You To Be Rich*. His Youtube channel has a lot of good stuff, too, including what to do if you’re starting late: https://www.youtube.com/@ramitsethi/search?query=late

    > But underneath I’m barely afloat.

    Start shopping around for a therapist. It might take a few tries to find a good fit. This is normal.

30. Absolutely yeah, I turned 40 in June.

    Lifting and running weekly. I cut alcohol all together (but you’ll have to pry coffee off my cold dead hands lol), cooking way more at home (even baking bread!), all small things to just maximize health.

    Also starting a new hobby learning piano. Just a few mins on YouTube daily.

    Honestly, it feels great!

    Not going to lie, I threw a bunch of thoughts and ideas into GPT and it helped me craft a decent nutrition and exercise plan. It’s been nice to just restart so to speak. My guess is I am halfway to 80 and seeing how my uncles and father are at 80, I gotta pivot.

    Exercise and especially lifting is one of the few things that helps your mental health. And no weights? Get into body weight workouts. It’s free! Pushups, squats and lunges are amazing for you.

    On the money front: I’m in the same boat. A home and car at least, but no solid retirement. I’m working hard on fixing that. Better late than never. All in on NVDA calls (somewhat joking :p)