What do you do when your SO did something that accidentally upset you?
August 17, 2025
What do you do when your SO did something that accidentally upset you?
17 comments
Tell them. How can you expect them to know, be mindful and do better without giving them to opportunity to reflect and grow?
Talk with them about it
Sit down and have a discussion over it. We have both said something over the course of our relationship that either didn’t come out right or didn’t mean to say.
You can’t be upset with them about something and expect change without talking to them.
I vanish and evaluate why it affected me before I prepare a case study on it.
Tell them, I’m really upset with you, what you did made me feel ____. I can’t feel like that with someone I love. We need to talk about why it happened and what we are going to do to put it right.
This is how your actions have affected me, then..Us v’s the problem.
I get really emotional very easily and often overthink things due to toxic relationships in the past. I am very lucky, I have a wonderful husband and relationship but when something upsets me I usually overreact. I really dislike that about myself and feel bad for my husband. I will either ignore him and cool off for a while or snap at him and then eventually calmly let him know why I was upset. Sometimes I end up texting him because it is easier for me. Thankfully we usually just get along 😂
Honestly? I try not to go nuclear over something that wasn’t intentional. I give myself a second to figure out *why* it bothered me. Sometimes it’s not even about what they did – it’s just me having a rough day or some old baggage getting poked.
What do you mean? You tell them. If it upset you, then it matters and if they are a loving SO then they would want to know.
Talk to them about it. Because I can accidentally upset my partner too and I would want to know so I get a chance to correct or clarify myself.
It depends on what they did and how I feel, if I need time to calm down I remove myself from the situation until I do. And then I talk to them about it. They need to know what they did and how it affected me so they can avoid doing it again. I also hope that they do the same when I mess up, although I’m not sure if it’s a problem with me or my choice in partners but they don’t tend to tell me when I mess up they just silently forgive me 😅
I tell him.
I figure out why it upset me and then tell him
I told him he upset me.
Communicate. A relationship without communication is just two people keeping each other company.
Tell him and talk about it like adults. I didn’t always do that in the past with people like exes or my family (and still don’t with family, but I have minimal contact with them these days because… reasons… so there isn’t too much conflict to navigate there anymore), but I worked hard on being a better communicator and dealing with interpersonal problems as healthily as I can. Partly just to be a better person in general, partly because creating a healthy relationship with my husband was really important to me right from the beginning.
I told him and we talked about it. Our communication skills are exceptional.
17 comments
Tell them. How can you expect them to know, be mindful and do better without giving them to opportunity to reflect and grow?
Talk with them about it
Sit down and have a discussion over it. We have both said something over the course of our relationship that either didn’t come out right or didn’t mean to say.
You can’t be upset with them about something and expect change without talking to them.
I vanish and evaluate why it affected me before I prepare a case study on it.
Tell them, I’m really upset with you, what you did made me feel ____. I can’t feel like that with someone I love. We need to talk about why it happened and what we are going to do to put it right.
This is how your actions have affected me, then..Us v’s the problem.
I get really emotional very easily and often overthink things due to toxic relationships in the past. I am very lucky, I have a wonderful husband and relationship but when something upsets me I usually overreact. I really dislike that about myself and feel bad for my husband. I will either ignore him and cool off for a while or snap at him and then eventually calmly let him know why I was upset. Sometimes I end up texting him because it is easier for me. Thankfully we usually just get along 😂
Honestly? I try not to go nuclear over something that wasn’t intentional. I give myself a second to figure out *why* it bothered me. Sometimes it’s not even about what they did – it’s just me having a rough day or some old baggage getting poked.
What do you mean? You tell them. If it upset you, then it matters and if they are a loving SO then they would want to know.
Talk to them about it. Because I can accidentally upset my partner too and I would want to know so I get a chance to correct or clarify myself.
It depends on what they did and how I feel, if I need time to calm down I remove myself from the situation until I do. And then I talk to them about it. They need to know what they did and how it affected me so they can avoid doing it again. I also hope that they do the same when I mess up, although I’m not sure if it’s a problem with me or my choice in partners but they don’t tend to tell me when I mess up they just silently forgive me 😅
I tell him.
I figure out why it upset me and then tell him
I told him he upset me.
Communicate. A relationship without communication is just two people keeping each other company.
Tell him and talk about it like adults. I didn’t always do that in the past with people like exes or my family (and still don’t with family, but I have minimal contact with them these days because… reasons… so there isn’t too much conflict to navigate there anymore), but I worked hard on being a better communicator and dealing with interpersonal problems as healthily as I can. Partly just to be a better person in general, partly because creating a healthy relationship with my husband was really important to me right from the beginning.
I told him and we talked about it. Our communication skills are exceptional.
Accidentally upset me? I get over it.