I (34F) have been with my partner (33M) for 12 years. In the beginning of our relationship, I was honestly the same way, quick to curse and get worked up over little things. But after going through some real tragedies (including losing a sibling), I’ve mellowed out and don’t sweat the small stuff anymore.
He hasn’t. He still blows up constantly, and it’s starting to wear me down.
Examples:
Our AC stopped working → he immediately yells, “Jesus f***ing Christ!!” Meanwhile, I’m thinking… no big deal, we can just pay someone to fix it.
He can’t find his Rogue pouches → “God f***ing damn it, I can’t find anything in this house!” To me, it’s like… just buy another can?
Last night, I couldn’t sleep and left the room quietly. The dog barked, and he shot up yelling, “Jesus f***ing Christ, what the hell is wrong with you?!” I literally have RLS and was trying not to disturb him.
He also has extreme road rage, which I won’t even get into here, but it follows the same pattern.
I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable by calling these “meltdowns,” but it feels like he’s always on edge and I’m constantly absorbing that negativity.
My question: Am I being too sensitive, or is this something I should seriously address? Has anyone worked through this kind of thing long-term, or is it just who someone is after 12 years?
TL;DR: I (34F) have been with my partner (33M) for 12 years. He constantly curses and blows up over little inconveniences (AC breaking, can’t find his Rogue pouches, me not being able to sleep). It’s wearing me down, and I don’t know if I should just accept it or see it as a bigger red flag.