But not really.
It's confusing. I'm 34 male she's 31 female.
We met up for the first time in 4 years nearly a month ago.
On our first meet up. It was great, all the natural chemistry was still there between us.
I told her before she got out of the car. If she just wants to be friends I totally get that and I'm fine with it.
But at the same time I can't ignore the chemistry that still exists between us and I'd be interested in seeing what an us could look like now after 4 years of growth and change.
And she was receptive to it. But she said she need to get things sorted for herself before anything like that. Like sorting out a proper Co parenting schedule with her now ex.
Yes, she has a kid with the guy after me. I'm not bothered by it.
In the weeks since then we've hung out a lot. Had a lot of fun. Been open and vulnerable with eachother. Flirt and sleep together. I've been invited around her family again by her and reconnected with them. I've hung out with her 1 year old a bunch who is great and really likes me.
We care for eachother, help eachother, go out of our way for eachother.
Everything there that should describe a relationship really. But the topic us. Where I've brought it up subtly here and there gets dodged around.
Her ex hates me. Has for a long time and doesn't know about us.
He has some anger issues and also currently making Co parenting very difficult for her.
But, yeah. Overall there's things that point toward she doesn't want us to get back together and I'm comfort. And there's things that point toward she is open to that but also not ready/guarded. Maybe because I'm a past partner of 5 years. Maybe because of her ex and the implications it could have on her and there child.
I know need to get clarity out of her eventually of what this is. I'm not sure when. It's been great reconnecting with her and I feel myself more and more getting emotionally invested again.
It's like I'm in limbo. And its weighing heavly the more time goes on.
There was one time she responded to the idea of us. She basically she said when's she's in that head space shell let me know.
I know at the very least I need to pull back emotionally.