For me, all of those friends I tolerated for decades who in hindsight treated women like shit have become liabilities to the way I want to raise my daughter and the values I will pass onto her, so I've cut them out of my life.
Oh, and I listen to and enjoy far more music I never would have considered listening to in the past, case in point, Golden, cannot get it out of my head.
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Id feel lost without them both.
It has given me an opportunity to really reflect on how harder it is to be a girl/woman. I already knew these things from simply living life, but having a daughter gave it a new perspective. I didn’t just see it in the world; I have had to prepare her for it which requires more contemplation and communication about the issue women face on a daily basis. For example, when I told my son that his sister will have it much harder and he asked why, I had to really communicate why and how women have it harder and what he had to do to ensure that his sister was protected but also confident and strong in herself.
I absolutely love it.
I’m bringing my daughter up to be confident, proud, strong, and vigilant to the risks of being a woman.
She’s incredibly girly (loves fashion and all things pretty), which has given me space to express that side of myself in a comfortable manner.
I’ve also encouraged and coached her to take BJJ, archery, mountain biking, volleyball, basketball, track, and tennis. She’s a veritable powerhouse and freakishly strong. These not only prepare her for a world full of men, but it’s been a great way for us to bond.
Consequently she comes to me (usually before my wife) to seek advice on things. Sometimes I’m caught flat footed (like, I’m in no way an expert on periods… but here we go). Other times I’m able to give her frank, uncensored information for her to process (like being highly aware of the motivations of boys who act like they’re her friend).
Being a girl dad rocks in so many ways I never knew.
She was my first kid and is now 5. she’s clever, strong and stubborn. It’s a complete new kind of love I’ve experienced and it kinda hurts that I love her even stronger than I love my wife. No second thought…I would die for her in every instance. It’s just a crazy feeling. The bad thing….I developed some kind of depression/anxiety since she’s alive, because I never feared anything more than the thought of loosing her. It’s like a part of my heart is now external and vulnerable.
Second kid is a son. He is just a mirror of me when I was a kid which drives me crazy, cause he’s batshit crazy trying to kill himself every day with something new. I was the same and now I finally understand my parents struggle (they had two girls before me).
I cut a friend out of my life hard stop.
I don’t think it’s fair to say that women unequivocally have it harder. Both sides struggle with different things. Sure, women bleed on their own. And how many billions of men have bled out on battlefields while those same women were at home?
Being a stay at home mother is a full time job, and no normal person would question how difficult that job is, but do you know what it also is? Quality time with the child that dad probably doesn’t get to see a majority of the week. It’s still the expectation that he’s going to be the breadwinner the majority of the time.
Men have smaller social circles, die more often and younger, I’d argue to say have more expectations from society.
You can stifle the job thing. I’d say it’s industry specific. Therapy, retail, education, even some medicine… women are preferred. You want to be a male photographer? Nurse? Teacher? Field reporter? Good luck. Men dominate male fields. I don’t see droves of women waiting in line to do commercial fishing, trash pickup, or any of the other dangerous jobs. Are there outliers? Always. But you’re picking and choosing.
I say this as someone who has a deep respect for women. I’m married to one. I have a few younger sisters. But I wouldn’t say their lives were harder than mine. If anything, the opposite has proven true. They never had to worry about being homeless. To find or pay for food when unemployed. Just find a boyfriend and move in, done deal. It’s that simple for most women. The average male will never have that experience.
I have a lot more drive to really nail a high pony.
I’ll admit, I was a lot more of a chauvenist. It made me re-focus. I treat my wife far better than I did 25 years ago.
I was a boy, figured I knew how I’d raise a boy. Never gave any consideration to raising girls, but I got a crash course. It was an awesome experience. Honestly, your friend group changes when you have kids and you tend to hang out with people with kids and it kind of self-selects. I watched a LOT of Dora the Explorer and Frozen.
I love my now-adult daughters and watching them fly in the world. I love that they still want time with us.
First born, Latino male in a households of males…no sisters.
It forced me to grow up…
I was raised by a single mom, and I have three kids who all happen to be girls. Music for sure is one of the things where my tastes have evolved because of their listening to certain genres or artists. Realizing that the thought processes of men and women are very different. I’m very sensitive to men treating women badly, physically or verbally, I can’t tolerate it.
Really it’s hard to put in to words the changes in myself from being surrounded by mostly women and girls my entire life, but I’d consider it very much a positive thing.
One thing that has struck me is how I wouldn’t do anything different if I was raising a boy instead. She loves video games and playing catch and roughhousing and Nerf guns – but she also loves pink and rainbows and unicorns and painting her nails. And I get to be a part of all that! Being a parent is rad.
I wouldn’t say its changed how I view women at all, but its changed how I view kids. I figured all girls were conditioned to be into certain things, but we haven’t exposed her to anything – she’s gravitated towards it herself, and I know she’s not watching beauty tutorials on YouTube at 8.. My wife doesn’t wear a scrap of makeup, but our daughter experiments with it. My wife doesn’t often paint her nails (maybe treats herself to a mani/peti once a year when her friends are going) but our daughter is constantly painting her nails (and subsequently picking it all off so she can do it again, thank you Dollar Store nail polish). So she’s not getting it from her.
Hey girl dads that chimed in, you made my heart swell and my eyes teary. A dad that tries to see the world in a way he never even considered (oh shit, the world is predatory and my daughter is PREY), that tries to bond with his daughters no matter what, even if you’re fumbling along learning about tea parties and make up, is the dad we all deserve and wish for ❤️The same goes for all parents, but awesome girl dads go straight to my heart 💜
Why is it that “girl dads” are treated like heroes for doing all the stuff they should be doing for their daughters, and we ignore that there are men who are just as dedicated to their sons?
I don’t know how much my life has changed due to the gender of my kid. My whole fucking world got flipped on its head just by having a kid.
I grew up living with my mom, siblings that were all female, we rented a room to an older woman, our cats were female, etc. So living now as an adult in a home with my wife and daughter isn’t really a big change for me. Periods don’t scare me, buying products for them doesn’t scare me, etc. The most difficult part of *that* was convincing my daughter the normal stereotypes don’t really apply here – I really don’t mind getting that stuff so ask away.
Otherwise I think I behave like I would have if I had a boy. My daughter likes to camp, play sports, she’s in to woodworking, she mows the lawn, etc. And I cook, clean, do laundry, etc. We’re just a family getting it done.
Well my two daughters are both 4 so it isn’t really different yet except they didn’t ever pee in our faces during diaper changes.
I’m expecting their teenage years to be challenging on my psyche.
I have the softest unicorn squishie in my desk drawer. When I feel stressed I squeeze that bad boy and nobody can say shit. My daughter gave it to me.
Even before I had a daughter, I was pretty involved and worked in spaces that were focused on women’s rights. Did a lot of pro-abortion work in Texas prior to the ban.
How has life changed? It is hard to say. I don’t know how much her being a girl changed my life, but her being her has definitely changed me for the better.
One change that probably wouldn’t have happened with a son, is that I know how to braid hair and my fingernails are green.
>Oh, and I listen to and enjoy far more music I never would have considered listening to in the past
Baby Shark Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo. Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo. Baby shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo. Baby shark!
Not sure if I count, just got married, and gained a 14, and 16 yo to my 15 yo boy, but now I am watching and appreciating dance, and other activities, and just how much some girls can talk. also finding out how girl siblings fight vs boys.
No change really, other than less free time but that’s not related to the childs gender, just that they exist.