I (23F) found out that my husband (24M) cheated on me overseas while I was 7 months pregnant. While he was on deployment I kept having dreams that he was cheating on me and I would tell him about them and jokingly ask if the universe was trying to tell me something. Every time he would tell me I had nothing to worry about and how there was no woman that he would ever betray me for. After about the 5th dream I stopped bringing it up and wrote it off as me being insecure or paranoid.
He got home two weeks ago and everything has been so great. He got to meet our baby for the first time ( he left when I was 4 months pregnant and missed the birth) and we have been just enjoying being parents together while also rekindling our love for one another.
Last night, he decided he wanted to take mushrooms cause one of his buddies gifted him some as a welcome home present. He always gets very emotional while tripping so I was prepared to comfort him while he cried about missing me and the birth of our baby. Once he started to trip, he seemed really off and distant, like he was in his head too much. something kept nagging me to casually mention the cheating dreams again. I made a joke about how he probably had another baby waiting on him in one of the countries he went to on deployment and he got really defensive. That’s when I knew.
I told him I think he cheated on me because of this reaction and he denied it at first. I let it go but could tell it was eating him alive and eventually he looked at me and just said he was sorry. He said it was a one time thing and that he regrets it and wanted to tell me so many times but was “worried about my mental health because I just had a baby”.
Obviously I’m devastated and feel extremely betrayed. I have never once thought about being unfaithful to him in the five years we’ve been together. So to know that alls it took was 2 months into a deployment to make him betray me is soul crushing. I want to keep our family together because I know he loves our baby, but I don’t know how I can even begin to trust him again and I want our child to grow up seeing a healthy loving relationship.
Am I setting myself up for a lifetime of disappointment and heartbreak if I agree to work things out? Or is there some way we can fix things? I just want what’s best for my baby.