So a bit of background. I was born and raised in a sort of religious household in a non-Christian household. It was a bit dogmatic. Like it wasn't a cult or anything but I have quite a bit of religious trauma.
I have been severely disappointed by the religious teachings of the religion I was born in because of what I deem are horrible and downright disgusting views on certain issues including women, the western liberal society and LGBTQ issues.
Even as a kid I had severe issues with this religion and it's practices being shoved down my throat to a point where I think I developed religious OCD because of it.
YES YES I REALIZE CHRISTIANITY IS THE MORE OR LESS THE SAME. I get it. I know how this religion treats women, I'm aware of the stuff happening in the USA. I'm aware of the evangelical weirdos. I'm extremely pro-choice too.
But recently I've begun feeling the Church of England seems to have acceptably modern views. Like I don't think you'll find a normal CoFE church preach that women should be barefoot and pregnant and that they're lesser than men. Or that homosexuals are damned to hell. I think there are even women pastors now.
I know that most people turn from one insanely toxic situation to another including religion but this isn't like that truly. Although I'm agnostic I have always been a spiritual person and quite believe in the idea of a higher power.
I genuinely like going to a church sometimes. The service, the carols, the whole thing. I love it. I also like Jesus as a concept (sorry if it sounds weird). But I like that he's portrayed as this uber kind, accepting, 'serve the poor' 'forgive the sinner' sort of person. As a representative of a religion I like him better than most Abrahamic religions.
So let me hear it. Am I being naive? Is there some masochistic part of me going back to similar patterns? Is the CoFe Church the same as other religions?
31 comments
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Not a religion, but try the [Humanists](https://humanists.uk/humanism/).
Do you need to join a church? I don’t think they’ll throw you out of the building if you’re not signed up
That said if you’re looking for a progressive religious community I’d recommend checking out Quakers. I’m not religious personally but Quakers are cool folks
I hate all religions equally, but if something doesnt impact me directly i would not care. You do you. Whatever brings joy to your life.
If someone i know ‘found God’ and started going to church, i probably wouldnt have as much to do with them.
It’s got similar vibes to transitioning to female and becoming a powerlifter
Yes you’re naive but don’t feel too bad about it
Christianity is probably the most successful PR campaign in history and about 2 billion other people on the planet have fallen for it, so you’re not alone
To each their own. Despite the antics of many Christians the bible does, indeed, tell you not to judge folk and to love thy neighbour.
I would say CofE fits best. You don’t need to join either – you can just turn up whenever. Our local church does lots of free community events and you don’t need to believe to take part. I don’t go regularly, just Easter, Christmas etc
It seems like you’re asking a different question in the title and the body.
To answer the question in the title: Everyone I know who has converted to Christianity is either weird or a fuck up. Mostly with criminal pasts, or cheating or something else that makes them vulnerable. I’d assume you’d gone through some crisis you were trying to cope with.
But to talk about the stuff in your body – I get the appeal. Have you thought about Quakers? Seems like it might be more aligned with your spiritual but not particularly religious beliefs.
You can come round my house every sunday for a sermon and ill only take 12% of your earnings.
It’s one thing to be raised into a cult from a child and not know any better. It is an entirely different (and far sadder) thing to be groomed into one as an adult.
To believe in some omnipotent being in this day and age is frankly laughable.
im catholic but i think the Church of england is just silly, it was made because henry wanted a divorce, just join the Church founded by Christ instead
Joining a religion is about belief, not something that sounds nice, or is not quite as toxic as the one you left.
So sure if you really believe in this rather schizophrenic diety as described in the bible who was really active in a small part of the world for a few hundred years before the Roman Empire, then went mysteriously quiet as his disciples spread his message of peace and love by fire and blood, then by all means join the church.
If you just want a way to meet people, join a board game club or something.
Go to a church. Ask if they run confirmation classes. Go to them. See what you think. You can do a course and learn about the expectations. If they give peace and make sense at the end, formally join the church of England as an adult. If not, you’ll have explored another way of thinking.
>I think there are even women pastors now.
The C of E has had women in the clergy since the 90s, not counting a brief but interesting historical blip in 1944. By this point there’s a decent few Bishops. Yes, for the most part it’s a relatively mild denomination. I wouldn’t call it *overall* left leaning, but certainly by the standards of religious institutions.
I’m areligious myself, but there’s the old Irish joke – ‘yes, you’re an atheist, but are you a Catholic atheist or a protestant atheist?’ and I’m definitely a Church of England atheist, and it sounds like it’s worth you going along to a service or two and seeing how you feel. I’d even be happy to put you in touch with a sympathetic female vicar I know very well, if that’s of interest.
My view of people that join religions is that they’ve gone nuts.
Just on the theological side, how does Christianity in general overlap with your former religion?
If you’re converting from Islam, for example, have you reckoned with the idea of the prophets being fallible? Of their teachings being human and flawed?
If you’re converting from Hinduism, what is it about the idea of the abrahamic monotheism that appeals when compared to the multiple aspects of divinity?
On the practical side, will you face resistance from your family if you ‘go public’ with this step? Do you have an escape plan and a safety net if you are shunned? There are charities that can help, if y9u need it.
Good luck.
I second the Quakers!
Be careful with the Anglican Church as some as more liberal than others. Theres a definate split between the more evangelical and liberal sides of the church, even churches a few miles apart can ve totally different.
CoE is about one step up the ladder of intolerance and hatred from Gardeners World and the WI. Ie: still bottom rung.
> I think there are even women pastors now.
There are even women *Bishops* now. There’s a distinct possibility that the next Archbishop of Canterbury will be a woman.
I’m not religious but the Anglicans seem less offensive than most. It’s a free country, knock yourself out.
CofE is the church for dossers like me – it is pretty much anything goes.
I don’t think you want a religion, you want a social club with some singing.
I don’t really understand the mindset of leaving a religion you don’t like just to join another religion. My non-religious brain can’t comprehend actually wanting to go to church or whatever!
CoE isn’t a *religion* – it’s just a *denomination*. You don’t have to pick it if you don’t want to, because there are many others. A church is just a gathering of Christians. It’s not a building or a slogan, and doesn’t even have to fall under any of the denominations. Just pick that one that suits *you* and *your* journey to inviting God into your life.
The entire point of Christianity is to try and be Christ-like. Find whatever lets you achieve that – or just let it find you. And remember, Christianity is a *personal* relationship with God, which may be quite different to what you’re used to. There is no wrong or right way to do it.
Bit weird but I couldn’t care less so long and you don’t try and convert me.
Well, I’m culturally a Catholic and so I basically observe all the fun Christopagan activities that go with that but I don’t have the best church attendance or a particularly competent grasp of following of the rules…
Each to their own.
You could stumble across far less inclusive religions than C of E I am sure.
May your journey give you clarity and comfort whatever you choose to do…
Not all cults are religions, but all religions are cults.
I’d say CofE is fairly broad. In my experience they’re quite anti gay marriage but otherwise fairly tolerant.
The United Reformed Church (URC) may also appeal to you. I believe they’re more broad in membership beliefs and have less of a hierarchical structure than CofE?
You are just leaving one for another without first trying out having no religion
Try no churches and only then if you feel you need one should you start looking around
Why do you actually need a religion, and what good do you think it will do you ?
In my experience, experience of religion is less about the specific flavour of faith, and more about the people you spend time around.
I was raised in a very liberal and relaxed Catholic atmosphere. My Catholic church was pro-LGTBQ+, very relaxed and very friendly. I’ve also met numerous ex-Catholics who consider my experience wildly unrealistic and/or straight up don’t believe me.
I also recently went to a christening for one of my husband’s friend’s kids at a CoE church, and the vicar took the time during the liturgy to say that we “don’t really need” certain bits of the Old Testament, and how a lot of things “from, for example, the Book of Leviticus, don’t really belong in modern Christianity” when he gave the baby its ceremonial bible.
Christians tend to pick and choose for themselves whichever bits of the scripture they want to emphasise, regardless of what specific flavour they brand themselves to be.
Maybe try Quakers. They’re pretty chill – I’ve been to one of their meeting houses a few times, and they’re some of the nicest, most accepting people I’ve ever met.