I’ll be turning 35 in a few wks and would like to know what I should expect for the rest of my 30s. Arguably by biggest maturity growth came from 25-30 but 30-35 is when I finally figured out what I wanted and gained confidence. I believe there’s always room for improvement but I don’t really see my mindset changing anytime soon. Is there anything you wish you did or would have done differently in your 30s?


18 comments

  1. It’s so different for so many people. Some of my friends are literally dying while others are thriving. I think a ton has to do with if you exercise regularly. Mentally it’s kinda whatever. I personally have become angrier and am working through that. Others have different struggles. I’m very fit though so that’s pretty cool. Drinking makes me cranky now. My kid is everything to me. I think the main thing you’ll learn is that you really really need to stay healthy right now or you’re going to have many less years in front of you.

  2. In my mid twenties I was lucky enough to have it explained to me the tragedy of loosing your sense of wonder. children inherently have it as they grow and learn the world around them but it fades. Don’t loose that spark, that you, me and everyone one around you are part of something beautiful and amazing. Now that I’m a dad I get to share that same feeling with my kid and nurture that spark.

  4. To me, the most significant advancements of my life happened from 35 to 40.

    I can identify with your statement on confidence – from 35 to 40 was certainly my most significant jump in confidence – and it just keeps multiplying as the days go by.

    If there’s anything I regret about my early 30s, it’s that I didn’t trust myself enough, or I didn’t have enough faith in my abilities. It’s embarrassing,, but I look back and go – wow, I knew *way* more than I thought I knew at that age – I should have taken more risks!

    I think I’m a person who has historically thought I have to “know the whole plan” before diving in to something. Now I know that I can take that leap even if I don’t know every step of the way or the end result. I just have to trust that I’ll figure it out as I go – which is really all life is.

  5. 44m – Stretch! Mobility is key. I used to play a ton of pickup basketball. Just walk on and play. At 40 my body started feeling it big time. Now my workouts are more about mobility than anything. I can still do everything I used to do, but I need to warm up and stretch after everything… still can beat you 🙂

  8. Mostly taking better care of myself, mentally and physically.. it had more to do with my father dying when I was 37 but the change still happened…
    And my mustache turned grey lol

  10. I went thru a “second puberty”. Got more facial hair, my voice dropped again and I lost the upper part of my singing range. It felt like my testosterone increased: more impulses to fight.

  12. this question just spurred a bit of reflection for me, as I am about to enter the tail end of year 35. here’s what I’m realizing: these five years are critical for charting out the balance of your life. while you can really change your fortunes anytime (or have them changed for you), this is kind of the final bit where you can really nudge your fortunes onto a particular trajectory. for me, that’s especially true for 4 things:

    family. do you have one, and do you want one? have kids? do you want more? just based on how the biological clock ticks, this is the time to decide, without risking substantial efforts to get one

    health. your body has changed, so your diet and exercise need to as well. track things you eat and stay active, because you can’t get away with as much as you used to in the 25-35 range.

    career. are you good where you are? do you feel you’ve reached the limits of career growth, or are you on a trajectory you think appropriate? if not, you are quickly growing old to crack into a new industry or retrain or take a risk on career change. especially if you have or want a family, growth potential vs. stability is a huge consideration here.

    savings. either you’ve started or you haven’t. if you haven’t, you have to try to start now. and catch up as quickly as possible. or, alternatively, if this box hasn’t been checked, figure out how to break into the housing market in a way that works for you and allows you to move onto saving.

    over the past year, I’ve dropped 20-25lbs and put on muscle for the first time in my life. it’s made me stronger for my kids and created a healthy routine where activity is necessary for me. recently, we’ve made the decision that we aren’t quite done expanding our family. that links in with physical health and mental health being in a spot where bringing on more of a load doesn’t seem so hard. that decision has made me question whether I’m in the right spot for career growth while also knowing I have a very flexible position that allows me to be present for my family. and that, as well, has led me to really start thinking about aggressive saving, not only for a safety net, but also to spend to give my kids great experiences.

    all of it is about charting out what the next, hopefully, at least 50 years looks like. family doesn’t happen? well, the dream isn’t over, but the options narrow. health degrades? it’s way harder to turn things around the more you age, and your body feels the effects of unhealthy habits. don’t change your career? the scale tips toward safety and security even more as risk becomes even riskier as you age out of the entry-level world. and if you don’t save? well, you’re pushing that boulder up an even steeper hill.

    I recognize that this is particular to employed, middle-to-upper-middle class homeowners/people with stable living conditions. but that’s where I’m at one year in.

  16. I hurt myself when i workout some times now. Nothing reaply bad but small tweaks here and there

  18. 35-40 is when I really started to notice that I’m aging. The stress and neglect on your body start to add up and show up as real symptoms. Wish I would have taken better care of myself, drank less alcohol, and exercised more when I was 35. I’m 39 now and trying to get my blood pressure under control.

Leave a Reply