I’m 33, and I realized I haven’t made a real friend in years, like the kind you call at 2 a.m. when life’s falling apart. Back in my 20s, I had a tight crew-we’d grab beers, talk about everything from girls to existential dread, and just show up for each other. But life happened: moves, jobs, breakups, and now I’m in a new city with a phone full of contacts but no one I’d spill my guts to. I feel like a lonely astronaut drifting in a sea of small talk, and it’s eating me alive. I tried joining a gym class and a book club, but it’s all surface-level chitchat about reps or plot twists. I’m not shy, but I freeze up when it comes to going deeper, like I’ve lost the knack for connecting. Last weekend, I sat alone in my apartment watching old group photos pop up on my phone, and I nearly broke down thinking about how I used to have people. I haven’t told my family because they’d just say, “Go meet people!” like it’s that easy.
I’m terrified I’m destined to be that guy who’s friendly but alone, smiling at coworkers while craving something real. I don’t even know where to begin to build those ride-or-die bonds again. Did any of you hit your 30s and feel like you forgot how to make friends? How did you break through the awkward small-talk phase?
Any advice or stories from guys who’ve rebuilt their circle would mean a lot.