Hi everyone, I am a 22 yr old woman (I have a lot of siblings). Let's name the guy I'm talking about Leroy (he is an only child) which is also 22.
I met Leroy when I was 12. We grew up going to the same church, the same youth group, we even ran cross country and track together for a couple yrs there (I did them all in middle school and high school but he only did a few yrs worth). I had my first job with him at 13/14 where we did yard work/mowing/weed whipping for a church graveyard. There was this one shed that we stored the supplies in and I remember we'd eat our pb&js that his mom would pack us in there together on the mowers and talk. I used to have the biggest crush on him. I would fantasize about hugging him in that shed. And maybe even kissing but mostly just hugging for a long time. (He later shared with me last yr that he used to fantasize tangoing -if u know what i mean- with me in that shed LOL)
Years went by and we had confessed feelings for each other. But it was always complicated mostly bc I think he hadn't matured yet and I'm not the type to beg a man to lead and pursue me. I learned he had a crush on my best friend (let's call her Ana). Ana was an inch taller (I'm 5'8"), blonde like me, way more toned and slender than I (even tho I was fit and cute but I always compared myself to her bc she literally could be a model if she wanted to). I grew up in a huge family and my parents had a messy divorce and it just made life a little bit more tedious in like all areas lol. Not that other people don't have hard things too. But Ana's parents were wealthy, they were home schooled, her parents loved each other. She made friends easily- everyone wanted to be her friend. I went through a phase of being jealous of her but God changed my heart and I was able to be truly happy for her and want the best for her. She later told me she's always been jealous of my long blonde curly hair and I was like wooo I have something hhahha. Idk it was funny to me.
Anyways, Ana didn't like Leroy back. Leroy got big sad. Leroy spent years in despair about her rejecting him. While I was in the background thinking, "Leory, I'm right here."
Leroy plays the piano, the guitar, the base. He lovess tractors and farming and baling hay. He works a blue collar construction job so he makes good money and drives a nice truck. Not that I care about the money that much lol just enough to have that security that he could provide for family. He has this sense of humor that is so beautiful and I understand his jokes and he understands mine and we make each other laugh with our sarcasm. Plus he is a hot bomb of a man. 6 ft, tan, dark and handsome, magical jawline, strong.
A couple years ago, we were at kid from church's party together (we no longer go to the same church). After, he asked if I wanted to come over and talk and catch up. I said yes. I knew it was stupid to say yes. Cuz I knew he would never like me the way I liked him. See me the way I saw him. But I went anyways. We were on his couch and one thing led to another and we madeout for the first time and did other stuff. I remember thinking after that that I wanted more haha. But I was sad bc he didn't pursue me much after that. Honestly, the main reason why I let it escalate to physical was cuz part of me believed that if I gave him more of me, he'd finally want me.
Then we started talking like a year ago in August and one thing led to another and he came over and I took his V card (he didn't take mine although I have a 3 body count cuz I'm stupid lol) After that, he basically asked if I wanted to be friends with benefits. I said yes bc I'm stupid. I eventually cut it off after a few weeks cuz I couldn't deal with the bread crumbing and the pain from unrequited feelings. Then we started talking again like 4 months later. Didn't sleep over at all. Just texted and I broke it off after a couple weeks.
Fast forward to a few days ago I texted him. He came over the next day and we tangoed from dusk till dawn(literally magical). I traced his back to sleep. I was so gentle with him. I told him I felt like that one girl from the Notebook movie where she is a widow and Noah sleeps with her to get over Ally. The girl likes Noah but Noah just doesn't see her that way. Leroy listened and didn't say much to it. He said he didn't see the movie and I was like okay.
Now it's Thursday and he's been sending like one word, two words texts every 2-8 hrs. I responded to him at 6 pm and he didn't say anything the rest of the night. Not even good night. No one is that busy. No one. I sent him a little bit of a lengthy message, tho not terribly an overbearing length, about how after we tango, it feels like he gets distant and I spin my wheels and overthink. I told him part of me says he's just busy and not a texter but the other part of me says he literally wants nothing to do with me lol. He told me I did nothing wrong and to not overthink. But like bruh. Idk I decided to post. Thank you for your help. Oh if I may add, Ana is now engaged to a different guy and Leroy says he's happy for them lol.
TL;DR: F22 and M22 grew up together, had mutual history and attraction, but he was hung up on my friend for years. We’ve been on-and-off talking and hooking up for the past year, but he’s never pursued me seriously. Most recently spent the night together, but now he’s back to slow, distant texting. I have feelings, he doesn’t seem to, and I’m confused if I’m overthinking or if I need to walk away.