2 year relationship.
A week ago my BF and I were eating some pastries for breakfast. He asks if I could make them at home, I said it would be kinda complicated but I could find a recipe online and try it out.
Then he starts saying how he can only cook a few things like eggs and sausages and would never be able to make these pastries.
My reply was "You can read a recipe." and I said this with NO MALICE, I said this is an upbeat tone. I think this was a normal thing to say, part of a conversation. Well then he just got up and left to go vape outside. He comes back in and just goes crazy.
Imagine me sitting there on the floor in the sun, happily drinking coffee and eating pastry, and IDK if you can imagine the HATE in this guys voice as he stands over me ranting like this:
"I don't like the way you talk to me."
"Don't tell me what I'm capable of!"
"Don't tell me what I can or can't do!"
"I have a 6 figure job and a masters degree. What do YOU have?? What have YOU done??"
I was just shocked, I told him I wasn't calling him stupid, I said if he doesn't know how to make something he can read a recipe?? I didn't say he's too stupid to read a recipe?? I didn't say he is or isn't smart enough to read a recipe.. I wasn't even specifically talking about him, if you don't know how to make something then "you can read a recipe" seems like a normal thing to say??
I keep repeating his words in my head "What do YOU have, what do YOU do?!" I can't explain the hate and disgust that was in his voice when he said this to me. I felt like he really hates me. Like he thinks he's so much better than me.
Literally all I said was "you can read a recipe" and he's ranting and raving like a lunatic. I honestly felt like I was dealing with a total psycho.
My dad was coming to pick me up to visit my grandma, and I was teary eyed and I told my dad what happened and now BF is pissed I told my dad "your side of the story."
His text later said "I don't want to hear an evaluation whether I am smart or not. I know what I am, based on my education, high skills, my capabilities, engineering occupation, contribution to the economy, 6 figure income, and many more facts and achievements of mine. So please don't say such things to me. Be nice and kind and respectful."
Often my BF says to me that something is logical, or obvious, or tells me I lack comprehension. He tells me "use your brain" and "are you an adequate person?" if I say something he thinks is silly.
Imagine a nice sunday morning destroyed by this tirade. And somehow it's still comes back to being my fault, because I said this thing that offended him and I should have just not said it..
TLDR: BF loses it when I say he can read a recipe if he doesn't know how to bake pastry.