I (25F) met this guy (28M) three years ago at a party. We talked back then but nothing really happened. Fast forward to now — he reached out again and we started catching up.

He told me things like, “I’ve missed you,” “I want another chance,” and “I want to get back to how things used to be.” I had a feeling he was saying these things mostly to get me into bed — and honestly, I was fine with that.

I’m not very experienced and I’ve never really had what I’d call good sex. So I thought he could be a good person to get more experience with, without anything serious. The first time he came over, we just talked. The second time, we had sex.

Since then, it’s been two days and I haven’t heard from him. What I don’t understand is: if he went through all that effort to say he missed me and wanted another chance — just to get to that point — why not keep in touch when I’m literally open to seeing him again just for sex?

I’m not looking for a relationship, I just wanted something casual. Now I’m frustrated because it feels like he got what he wanted and that’s it.

Any advice would be appreciated ❤️


9 comments

  1. He doesn’t know you’re open for sex, to him maybe he was just keeping score and thought about you when it became convenient. People will to great length to get little of what they want.

  2. Does he know that you’re open for sex? If not, reach out to him and tell him what you’re expecting from him. Maybe in his mind this was a once off thing. Give it a try and see what he has to say

  3. You’re contradicting yourself. You want something casual but you want him to keep in touch? It’s either one or the other. If you want casual, he doesn’t have to reach out everyday. He might reach out once a week. Once a month. Or maybe it’s a one time thing

  4. It may be the sex itself. You admit not being very experienced (which i don’t see as a problem) is he aware that you’re not very experienced it may come across as lack of interest it hard to say with the limited information. There’s nothing wrong with you asking him and being honest regarding looking at him as a F B if he has reservations about committing to a relationship that will eliminate that as a concern other than that I don’t know what to suggest. Sex experienced correctly is very rewarding and experienced the wrong way is very disappointing pick a partner that’s patient, loving, and into you.

  6. Okay let’s be clear you want communication but if it’s casual that’s how this works… its non obligatory. Committed relationships have obligations. Now you can text him. Or you can mention what’s going on how have you been? But if this casual this is what it looks like. We hook up with each other, we don’t talk all the time or very rarely. Then its the other type the friends with benefits with cuddles and the passionate kisses and the sharing of meals maybe even some dates. That’s how feelings start. If you care about having not heard from him in two days instead of seven days I think maybe you might be starting to like him …
    Another chance at what if yall wasn’t in a emotional relationship???

  7. guys will never ever tell a girl he only wants sex from her.

    this is the only thing you ever need to know

  8. You mention it’s been 2 days, is this the first time since you connected that there’s been a 2 day gap?

    Secondly, when you communicate who usually initiates, do you start the conversations, or is it always just him. If it’s the latter, maybe change it.

    Tell him, you’re okay to keep things casual. “I’m not in the right place for a relationship but happy to have fun together”

  9. Don’t be scared of rejection. It’s part of dating and our own personal growth. Guys love when women initiate in general, it makes us feel wanted, special, etc, so maybe text him something simple to break the ice, e.g., I saw this and thought of you.. you can then gage how he responds and the flow on convo after. In that exchange, ask questions, asking questions shows interest in my mind. If he’s not responsive or attempting to engage you can use that to answer your question if he’s still interested. If there’s not much interaction, back off and leave it.

    All the best.

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