So me (28F) and my bf (26M) used to live togheter in the city I worked and recently did 2 years togheter. None of us liked that city and he worked 1h away. Moreover he is very passionate about mountains so came back to his home whenever possible.
On the other hand I rode horses since I was a child and managed to buy one again shortly before we met.
I keep my horse 2.5h by car from the place we lived and from my home town, that because that's where my long time trainer works and, competing at high levels, I only ever trusted him with my horses. Also there is no decent level trainer near his home town or mine.
Since neither of us liked the city we lived in and doing long hours of car to ride my horse as much as possible to be competitive started to be heavy, I started contemplating finding work near where my horse stays.
One month after I received a call from a workplace 10 min away from the stable, without even looking for that.
So I discussed that MANY times with my bf, which always said it was no problem, and I moved there.
The stable is 4.5h drive from his hometown.
Also note this was always ment to be a temporary solution, as I don't want to live here for the rest of my life and I do not honestly think I would be able to afford a horse for competitions my whole life.
So the ending point would anyway be moving back togheter in 2-3 years where it is more convenient for him. By that time my horse would be old and trained enough to be ridden by myself only or become a full time mom.
The workplace is great and I am so happy to be around horses all the time. But my boyfriend soon started to be very intolerant about the distance and is now contemplating breaking up over that.
We see each other more or less 10 days per month, sometimes sparse, sometimes we do a week long vacation and then see each other again for a couple of days.
I feel so betrayed because we agreed on that before me moving and I asked him many times if that would be too much for him to handle.
Also I feel like if you truly love someone, distance or waiting for a person should not be that much of an issue.
Am I right to feel betrayed?
Should I drop my new work place and move somewhere else near him?
I feel like I should not decide on my life based on someone else, but I fear I am going to regret this.
I loved him so much but right now I feel angry and so disappointed by him.
Perhaps is worth to note that in the past (6 months before moving approx.) I also proposed him to move to his home town, I used to work there, the pay was good and in that option I would have stayied 20 days there and 10 days at the stable each month. He did refuse this because working option in his home town are not convenient for him right now.
EDIT TO ADD: I want to specify that I feel betrayed not because he now feels different about distance, but because I feel like if you truly love someone you wait on them.
TL;DR: After discussing it many times with my bf (26M) I (28F) decided to move in a city 4.5h away from his home town to follow my passion for horse riding. This would be only temporary. Now he wants to break up because he feels like we do not spend enough time togheter.