My husband (25M) and I (25F) have been married for 5 years. A couple of days ago, I came home from work ( a night shift) to find him asleep in our bedroom while still on a call.
As soon as he woke up, he immediately hid his phone under the pillow and tried to play it off like I didn’t notice. When I asked who he was talking to, he lied and said it was his “gaming friends” on a group call and that he accidentally fell asleep.
I told him I didn’t believe him and pressed for the truth. He said he needed “a minute to wake up” and admitted it looked bad, but insisted it wasn’t what I thought. He went downstairs, and I stayed upstairs waiting for answers.
After a few minutes, I heard him talking downstairs, so I went to see what he was doing and he was on the game at 6 AM. I demanded to talk about it right then, but he wanted to wait until later.
Eventually, after I kept pushing, he admitted it was a girl he met on the game. He claimed he was “just helping her with her life problems” and that he accidentally fell asleep on the call and she didn’t hang up?? . When I asked to speak to her or see his phone, he refused. He also swore they’d never talked outside of the game, but wouldn’t let me check his messages to confirm.
I’ve since moved into the guest room because I feel betrayed. To me, the lying, hiding his phone, and protecting her instead of being transparent are huge red flags. He says he acted that way out of guilt, but I don’t know if I can trust him again. How do you handle something like this. Is there anyway to rebuild trust? I’ve been contemplating leaving.
Now he’s being overly loving which I hate bc I’m not over this. But it’s hard to figure it out. being around him acting like it never happened.