So, this is a little confusing and I’ve changed some details because I’m paranoid but essentially here is the story:
Me and this person, my guy, we’ve been trying to date for almost a year now and each time theres been something that just crops up as a hurdle. Initially it was that because of his past experiences he wasn’t sure he could survive another heart ache and therefore kept one foot out the door and things ended (amicably).
Now, we’re trying again, he’s had time to sit with his fears and build his own life up to where he no longer is afraid inviting me in and being all kinds of loving and gentle and open. And for the last month it’s been everything. I’ve never felt so loved and safe and met. Truly, he is amazing.
Now suddenly his background, his family issues are cropping up, and he’s handling it so well but he’s dipped into a low. He was incredibly vocal about it. Saying he was trying to manage too many things and may be less affectionate as a result but he didn’t want me to worry. I appreciated that. I just, sometimes feel the creeping feeling of damn, never even got a full 3 month honeymoon phase or whatever. Like never got the blissful, flirty, can’t keep hands off one another first couple months, we’ve jumped straight into crisis mode.
And I know it’s the past with him that makes me think that this low will mean he’ll just isolate and i’ll be cut out because that’s what’s happened before. And even though this time it’s only been a day and he absolutely hasn’t done that, my body is reacting the same way and I don’t know what to do. I want to be a good woman and stand by him no matter what but I’m scared. It hurt so much before. I hated feeling like I was begging for attention, for love. What if I end up there again? And this crisis isn’t one that’ll ever fully be resolved. It has the potential to keep tearing its head for the rest of our lives.
So should I stay? Keep my head down and love him through dark times, and hope for the best on the other side, or do I save myself potential heartache and run? Exit now before it gets bad if it does even? I love him so much but I also love myself and I know technically there is no wrong answer. But Im just torn.
TL;DR I’m torn between loving someone through a hard time or running because I’m scared and I’ve been here before albeit slightly differently because this time he’s more open. What should I do.
1 comment
you’re right, there’s technically no wrong answer. however, just given the fact y’all have tried to make things work before & are kinda “familiar” with each other.. i’m not surprised there’s no “honeymoon phase”. it’s not an unhealthy thing to have no honeymoon phase, it doesn’t mean any lack of love or anything it just happens sometimes. the fact he’s been very vocal and is being honest is a great sign. i think you should stick it out & be there for him. but hey.. you do you.