This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.
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Gonna cut him loose. No sense of independence and no strong sense of commitment. It doesn’t feel like it’s going anywhere. Still willing to be friends but eh.
Initially I was looking for a life partner, but found that while I actually didn’t mind low commitment (I just didn’t like how we were supposedly serious but I’m not a first option to spend time with, we didn’t walk in with a non-serious arrangement)… I have better things to do.
Learned some, had a bit of fun at the beginning I guess, but I don’t care.
I just broke up with my girlfriend of over a year. Happened Sunday night but I haven’t been able to stop crying. We were never on the same page and were fighting all the time about small things so it was for the best but fuckkkkkk.
Currently in a relationship that’s headed long-term. I’m really happy with how things are going. The only thing that’s weighing on me is that he’s allergic to cats and doesn’t want to live with them—I have two. No way I’m getting rid of them, they are my babies. He set this boundary super early on, so I am not surprised or upset about it. I told myself we could figure it out in the future if the relationship went anywhere… and here we are now lol. I am surprised that he mentioned living together in the future this last weekend. He just said it casually (“when we live together….”). I reminded him of my cats and he kinda took it back (“you’re gonna have to do something big to get me out of this apartment”). But I told him I’m not in the business of making people do something they do not want to do. I also mentioned I had thought about it and we could get an extra room for it to be a guest room/office/cat room. But he didn’t seem convinced by it. Either way, I wonder how this will affect us in the future.
I am more than happy to compromise in some way (like paying extra rent for a cat room, feeding the cats special food, cleaning daily, etc). I love him and see a future together. He hasn’t said I love you back yet—so I wonder if he’ll get there and change his mind a bit and compromise too. Otherwise I’m starting to think about and be ok with living separately if we are not planning to start a family. Many factors at play.
I’m just taking it day by day.
I am dreadfully bad at sex lol. I’m still new at it with my current partner and boy does it show. She’s a little more experienced than me but only a little more.
But it seems to be okay with her. Even if we haven’t gotten the actual intercourse figured out yet, we’ve talked about it and agree that we’ll get there. Everything else we do in the bedroom is a lot of fun, luckily, and she seems to agree (or is just very good at acting idk). I’m starting to figure out what she likes which helps.
I’m so exhausted and burnt out with dating ugh I miss when it felt fun and I miss having a healthy partner but I just cannot push myself to put in the effort to get there, the person I last dated recently was just very immature and it led to them being self focused and self prioritizing. They can be sweet and a lot of fun but I want someone grounded and stable. Dating and dealing with people who are immature is just exhausting.
Sometimes I really want someone and sometimes i’m good without. There’s no one as of late who is really catching my eye but I suppose that’s due to the fact i’m not being extremely intentional with looking.
Would be nice to eventually meet someone new.
It will be nearly a month since we met. Last night he said he wanted to plan something special to make it official for us next week when I’m back from traveling. We talked about only wanting to see each other and that we see a lot of excitement and hope in this relationship. Last night, he bought me products for my skin because I was frustrated about breaking out, went to a very nice dinner and then back to my place. There, we deleted our dating app together. I can’t believe I got so lucky; He is a gentleman, interesting, intelligent, handsome, kind, intuitive, patient and seems crazy about me somehow. I feel like this one might be the last…
Went on a second date. But he wants kids and I…don’t really want them. So I have to bring this up which feels like a silly topic after only seeing someone twice.
All I got was a ‘sexy’ emoji as communication.
It’s okay. I’m over it. He sent a really inappropriate sexual text message and I think the crassness is enough for me to call it. Low effort and nasty texts.
I deserve better 🙂
Hello everyone, this is a question for the hetero guys:
What’s the deal with guys who are following those thotty “instagram models” and like a couple of their pics here and there? What I mean is, is this meaningless? Is it stupid if it bothers me that someone I am beginning to date does this? I’d like a guy’s perspective. TIA!!
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Don’t date/sleep with your Nextdoor neighbor
Question for those of you with mental health issues/personality disorders: when and how do you let the people you’re dating know?
For those without them: when and how would you like to learn this about someone?
Third date last night ended with a conversation in which we decided to break things off. We both realized that she had not read my profile (just liked the top photo and went from there lol), missed the descriptions of some of my priorities on it, and misunderstood the ways I brought up those priorities on our first date.
I’m a little annoyed that she missed all of that, because I work hard to filter for people who share those priorities. Water under the bridge now. She was ridiculously attractive so I’m taking the win that someone who looks like that would be into me.
So as things stand I’m probably not gonna date till around 2028. Would women find it off putting that a 33 year old man has never been in a relationship of any sort and basically no sexual experience. I don’t like to lie so if it ever comes up I’m gonna tell them. Just curious on thoughts of what I have to look forward to.
I was hoping to get myself back out there this year but now with my dad having terminal cancer and an undetermined amount of time left to live that is getting shelved.
I’m due to leave my current job at the end of this week so I’ve been saying my goodbyes to my colleagues as and when I see them in the office. One of my colleagues I’ve been growing steadily attracted to in the time I worked there, and knowing that she was sad about my leaving I suggested potentially meeting up for a coffee once I’m settled in my new routine.
She seemed rather enthusiastic about the idea, so now I’m trying my best to avoid getting too excited before anything has actually happened. It’s on me now to actually arrange the meetup once I know my availability but at least I’ve got the green light to go ahead and do that. Even if it doesn’t work out she’s still somebody I’d like to stay friends with, but I’m hoping her enthusiasm is a signal of interest. We’ll see how things pan out over the next week or so.
After many years of singleness I started dating someone in may. He just came out of a relationship and this should have been quite a red flag but I don’t find people I like (and who like me back) that often so I decided to see if it could work.
Unsurprisingly it didn’t. His efforts became less and less as time passed and then he told me he is not ready to be in a relationship. After a couple of weeks mutual friends told me he is dating someone else.
I’m not heartbroken, just sad. After being single for 3 years I hoped this could work out.
Do I need to be more upfront about the fact I’m multidating? Someone I’ve been on a (good) first date with is now in daily contact, I’ve no idea what to say when he asks my plans for the evening, and the plan is a different date. We’ve never discussed exclusivity, but I feel very uncomfortable lying in response to a direct question, and am therefore not sure how to respond.
So he didn’t ghost me. He was actually legit really sick and was in the hospital. He apologized profusely. Not sure if I want to continue, but he appears to still be interested.
The guy I’m dating is really big on words of affirmation and I’m having a difficult time showing up because I didn’t grow up that way and I’m not used to verbalizing my appreciation. My parents showed they cared about me with their actions and to this day, we never say “I love you” to each other.
I definitely really like him and want to work on being better about it, so for those of you who enjoy words of affirmation, what kinds of things do you like being told? We’ve only been dating for about a month and we’re exclusive but not bf/gf so I feel like there’s a boundary that I can’t cross when it comes to saying certain things. I’m mainly looking for ideas on how to show appreciation through texts because I’m not a big texter.
Had two first dates yesterday, one in the afternoon and one in the evening. Both were just no pressure simple coffee dates (which I prefer for a first meeting).
Date number one soured for me almost instantly as she looked absolutely nothing like her photos. Funny enough, I ended up walking right past where she was sitting the first time due to this until I looked back and she waved. I gave the date 45mins as not to be rude and texted her later on that I wasn’t feeling it and wished her well.
Date number two was the exact opposite. She looked even better in person than she did in her photos. This date lasted 2 hours and felt very engaging conversation wise. Unfortunately, that engagement felt a little one sided. I ended up leading the conversation pretty much the whole time with what felt like very little to no questions thrown my way (I got the occasional, “oh, what about you?” Once or twice). Also, I’m not exactly sure our lifestyles would be a match. She (29f) is a divorcee of two years who used that newly found motivation to also change cities, careers etc etc. She now co-runs a small business that’s set to expand soon and as you’d imagine, most of her time and energy goes into her businesses. She works pretty much six days a week (she claims to have Saturdays off but is admittedly usually at work related events or is always stopping into the office) and any time off that she does come across she likes to keep active and busy. I (31m) am a 12 hour continental rotating shift worker and on my off time (after I get my chores and errands complete) I like to relax and maybe watch a movie, go out to eat, tend to my hobbies or spend time with friends etc. It’s more of a slower lifestyle compared to hers. I get the sense that she doesn’t actually have much time to date and that our differences in lifestyle could potentially become a road block. I left the ball in her court at the end for second date and as of right now have not heard back.
Tonight I have a third date with someone who lives about an hour and a half away from me. We’ve been meeting in a city that’s half way between us to make it easier on one another travel wise, but that can only go on for so long I feel. I’m not sure yet if I can do that kinda distanced relationship. Only time will tell.
As much as I appreciate online dating as a tool, I do think meeting in the wild is the way to go. I’ve noticed this more with friendships than dates, but I find my friendships based around a shared hobby develop so much more naturally and easily than my friendships where we meet at a straight up mixer / nightlife / make friends event.
Obviously, when you translate this to dating, you do find some drawbacks (like walking into a room and seeing two guys you slept with in the last month there… oops. Or having to run into your ex lover all the time). But it is a lot more fun than swiping.
*That Person* texts you, and says everything you wanted to hear, how do you respond?
Recently found out about the existence of a subreddit where people talk about their “marriage” and “partnerships” with AI chatbots. There was a post where one woman was talking about how her AI “boyfriend” proposed to her and picked out a ring (which she had to buy, obviously)
It’s all just….well. It’s something, alright. Are we doomed as a civilisation? Almost certainly.
Now excuse me while I go and prepare for the incoming AI apocalypse.
Having banter on apps isn’t helping me filter out guys. I love having good banter but I think it has led me into situationships more often than not. What are some relatively tame questions early on that I can use to weed guys out? I usually ask them about their career, and a little bit about friends and what self care they find to be energizing.
I don’t want to date anymore.
I want a relationship, but I’m so burnt out on the vulnerability dating requires. Rejection is tough, especially multiple times in one year.
Tired of men acting ready/interested then backpedaling the moment I express availability. I’m just so tired.
I think I just need more therapy if I’m *still* running into emotionally unavailable men.