I’m a 23-year-old Nepali guy, born in a small village. My dad was the only son with six sisters, and in our culture family is everything. We don’t really talk about feelings — you’re expected to put family first and just get on with things.
When I was little, my dad moved abroad for work and eventually settled in the UK in the restaurant business. My mum joined him, and later me and my brother.
My dad is very traditional. He’s religious but not strict, and he cares a lot about “what people will say.” Growing up, he discouraged dating outside our culture. My brother worked from a young age and gave up on his dream for a while to help my dad, so he sees me as having had an easier life. I feel guilty about that.
Now I’m finishing my master’s. I’ve been dating my girlfriend (British) for 9 months. My mum knows but avoids talking about it. My sister-in-law knows and is supportive but says my dad might take time to accept it.
Where I’m struggling:
I love my girlfriend, but I’m nervous about telling my dad.
I often feel compared to others who work and study, like I’m not doing enough.
My dad sometimes calls me during uni for small things, which my girlfriend finds frustrating. I see both sides and feel stuck in the middle.
I want to introduce my girlfriend eventually, but I’m scared of disappointing my family. I also want to feel like I’m living my own life without constantly worrying about what everyone else thinks.
My question is: How can I prepare for this conversation with my dad so that I’m honest about my relationship, while also respecting my culture and giving him the best chance to accept it?
TL;DR: Nepali guy in the UK, traditional parents, dating a British girl. Mum knows but avoids it, dad doesn’t know yet. I’m nervous about telling him and torn between my own life and family expectations. Looking for advice on how to approach this conversation.