A guy matched me recently and he’s currently traveling in my city for a few weeks. He is eager to find a long-term relationship partner and he wants to take me out to a dinner. Dinner is fine (guys here usually ask me out to a dinner and I feel most comfortable with a dinner date.)
My concern is he wants to relocate to my city after he goes back to his country. Would he ever? You see where I’m coming from?
I never go out with a traveler. I don’t do anything casual. I’m looking for a long-term relationship partner. So I would only go out with the guy if he has a date set to move here or if he’s already moving here (he’s being transferred here for example), if he happened to be a non-resident guy. I’ve unmatched many travelers before because they said they’re looking for “friends”. And I don’t do “friends”, such a wishy-washy term because we girls know what this actually means; a non-commitment FWB whenever the guy is in the city. I don’t do this kind of stuff. So I usually swipe left or unmatch these guys.
He said he wanted to come to the country to see if he really wanted to relocate for sure. And he’s apparently loving it here. He’s scheduled to go back in a week and he wants to “research” employment when he goes back. He’s an American living in Europe who wants to relocate to where I live. I am just not sure if I should go out with him for a dinner date.
A part of me thinks yeah just go and meet him because I get the vibe that he’s a sincere guy genuinely looking for a relationship partner (he’s very nice), if I don’t meet him I would never know. A part of me thinks why meet him if he doesn’t even have a date set or an employment to move here. Should I meet him for a dinner date? A date is set for this Friday evening.
5 comments
My friend waited 5 years. More than I would have. Nothing happened. He stayed and she said bye.
In short: no. I would not date him.
Plus, you guys don’t seem to know each other well enough, that there’s any good reason for you to put your eggs into this basket. Or in simple terms: he can’t have swept you off your feet that much, for you to consider him at all despite this visible issue.
Right now, he’s not available to you. And it will likely stay this way for years.
Also on dating apps, you can expect that a lot of people just look for sex and intimacy during their travels, and try to break down your barrier by sheer lying they plan to stay and look for something committed.
Date someone else, for your own sake.
Or go out with him if you are okay with him potentially lying for some travel sex.
Good luck!!
Personally this sounds way too uncertain for me. He was not even sure about it until travelling there now and has absolutely nothing lined up. Jobs and appartments don’t fall into your lap just because you want them. You’re looking at months between the first and second date if he even manages to find something and doesn’t change his mind. You can of course still meet him once and have a nice evening, perhaps you even discover you don’t want to see him again but if you do then also make it clear you are not going to be a sitting duck just waiting around for him.
I live in nyc and want to live here forever. I have to really screen people who see living here as a phase. So no
This plays into one of the “hidden” desires, at least in literature, of some women. The desire to tame the wild and free.