I (28F) thought I found a great guy (30M) to start a connection with. Chemistry was insane, the attraction mutual, very respectful just all around fantastic. I started to get curious as to why he hasn’t added me on snap chat, he also told me he was moving so he has been sleeping on his couch, but when I went over I noticed no boxes. So the last time I paid him a visit, I checked in the shower. Boom. Aussie hair conditioner, shampoo and L’Oréal hair products…. I immediately left but not upset. He sent me a good morning text but I ghosted him after that. It’s clear he has a girlfriend and wanted to have a full blown side piece relationship as well.
I don’t understand cheating. I never will. I left my earring for her to find hoping it will tip her off.
Please are there any loyal men out there? Like seriously if it’s not online cheating it’s real life cheating and most times it’s both. I’m exhausted.
44 comments
47M here and I never cheated. Most likely never will. Hope that gives you some hope. We exist!
Loyal and decent men exist. It’s just the bad ones are fun and charming. Basically the concept of “power corrupts” but with exceptional social skills being the power and using it to their advantage regardless of the ethical issues.
maybe just speak to him about it, could be left from a pal or something. Like i leave toothbrushes at my pals if im over a bit or smthn idk. Maybe worth asking though?
It is, you think you found someone you’re super compatible with then bam, coming out of the left field, you’re hit with a surprise 🙃 I still think there’s someone out there for everyone, but taking a break every now and then wouldn’t hurt.
online dating is really tough, especially when you can’t see what goes on in their reality. hook-up culture is a really big issue at the moment as well. People cheat for numerous reasons and some none. it’s a hard time finding someone loyal, but it’s not impossible! keep your head up high. It may seem hopeless, but don’t give up. someone will come your way eventually ♥️. so sorry this happened.
It happens, unfortunately. I’m the same age as you but a dude and I was so in shock when I found out people our age still haven’t stopped being a shit bag! Like cmon, we’re just looking for love and these people block us from finding it
Here the thing. Loyal men exist. I, 32 m, am one of them. But at the end of the day why don’t you just ask him about the shampoo instead of ghosting him? Maybe there’s a logical reason as to why it’s there. My example is that my sister just got done visiting me and while she was here bought shampoo and conditioner and left it in the shower when she left. I’ve just haven’t gotten around to tossing it away yet. Maybe there’s a reason. Just ask about it instead of ghosting.
Men can’t use products our society has deemed as “female only”?! I use hair products mainly found in the women’s section because it’s way better than men’s and not inundated with crappy smelling cologne scents. Did you talk to him about it before ghosting him? Seems like you were looking for a reason to ghost him and used the first one you saw. That’s unfortunate.
46, M, never cheated.
Lollll I use those products 🤷♂️
I think online dating gets a bit of a bad rap because it’s more prevalent now. Bad experiences offline and online. Just hear of the former more bc of its readily accessible and easier to an extent.
Single guy in my mid thirties, never would care to cheat. I can’t even find a gf, but cheating is a no go, too much work. Honestly would rather play video games or build models or do anything else than put effort into something so dumb. Idk it sucks but lots of decent guys out there just doing their own thing.
and you are close to 30 damn
those kids after 2000 are way worse
Think the problem is it’s not just dating that’s harder nowadays. Finding friends is also harder. We live in a world where we’re more connected yet lonelier than ever before – blame TikTok and influencer culture. If you can’t even make new friends how the hell are you expected to find a date? Dating at its core is largely being friends with someone who you want to also fuck the living daylights out of. The romantic bond develops as a biproduct of that over time as you share your deepest, darkest vulnerabilities with them – things you share with nobody else.
Oh yes I feel you. I went out on a fourth date with a guy the other week and he turned up with love bites on his neck. Now we’re not exclusive but c’mon ewwww
I’m sure you’re probably right about your situation (a woman’s intuition is a powerful thing), but my boyfriend uses Aussie shampoo and conditioner as well as similar styling products to me 😅 Did this guy have nice hair? 🤣
It was one guy, not the whole dating pool.
And tbh, that is not enough ‘evidence’ to say he was cheating
I dont understand cheating as well. I have never been in a long term relationship yet as a 22M but when I do I will make sure they are loved and cherished at all times. I cant understand going out and meeting people like that I would rather just stay home and play video games or watch anime.
Everyone suggesting he uses those products no he doesn’t, his were next to hers lol
I use women’s hair products because they’re better. Specifically Not Your Mother’s curl defining conditioner and I have a co-wash from some female oriented brand. I’m male.
Look when some one is real and loyal.
No need to ask for anythings.
His Eyes speaks his honesty
His World show his true love
His attitude shows his loyalty
His heart shoes the affections for you.
Believe me, these things exist but only with real one.
Because real one, is clean and clear. Open and no bad intentions.
Good men are out here. You just found a bad egg, which is OK. The issue is how do you react after you find out they are not for you. This part of the equation you have ACED WITH FLYING COLORS. This wasn’t your guy. It sucks you invested time in him but it’s not indicative of all people out here in the dating market. When you are ready get back out there. You are not going to catch anyone sitting in your house.
The funny thing is, you hear all of these women tell these stories about how all they can find on dating apps are guys that just want sex, guys that are already in a relationship, guys that are assholes, etc. Why dont any of you think about the fact that you’re obviously going for the wrong kinds of guys? Think outside of the box a little bit. Maybe match with a guy that you might not have matched with before. There are a shit ton of great guys out there but theyre not 10 out of 10’s and thus theyre getting no attention or no chances.
Am I gonna get dumped because my mom left her shampoo and feminine products in my guest bathroom lol
I’m a guy and loyal, I’ve met only a couple girls from online and it’s always the girl who wants to stop talking to me lol, I think I’m just boring tho since all I do is play video games mainly.
And also men can’t use those type of hair products now? I love using “female” hair products bc it compliments my hair type.
I still have some of my ex’s products around the house for women to use when they spend the night. There’s nothing sus about it.
This is an unpopular opinion amongst other men, but yes loyal men exist, it’s just that any loyal man that has his life together isn’t going to last very long on a dating site leaving a revolving door of cheaters, guys who don’t have their shit together, or guys that simply aren’t very good at socializing.
I downloaded 3 dating apps early Sunday morning, after some ridiculous messages I deleted them less than 24 hours later. 🙄🤷♀️ I’m not sure how dating works anymore.
I’m a single guy and I use Aussie Hair products 🫣💀. I am cooked if I ever manage to bring someone home 💀.
Men who can get “side pieces” are the kinds of men women want. Guys who don’t pull continue to not pull. Only good looking guys get that kind of attention not ugly males.
You saw decent hair care products and immediately jumped to “he has a gf and I’m his side piece?”
That’s fucking crazy…
There are many men on apps who are looking to cheat. They could be married and have no issues having side chicks. Zero remorse. I chatted with at least 10 men they’re cheaters who appeared they were single. They check “Long-term Relationship”. That’s why I don’t use Bumble, guys there are deceiving often. On Tinder if you didn’t disclose and he did this he is definitely getting banned 150%. That’s why most Tinder men tell in their profiles these days. “I’m married”. “Only looking for fun””Hope you’re married too because I’m looking for married side chicks”, etc. At least you can block them on Tinder. You could have really screened him out in the chat too. You can usually tell they’re chatty and they’re a bit desperate, overly friendly than single guys. I could tell often. Did you also ask him, are you single and no GF or wife? Do it on text AND in person. It’s very hard to lie in person so they would usually tell you. If he said he was married before or had kids, you have to then ask him when he divorced and how long he’s been divorced. They’re sometimes only “separated” and not divorced. Or just cheating on their wives. I always ask if they’re single before I start chatting with any guys. They usually understand this because many men and women cheat on their partners on apps.
I’m really surprised he took you to their place. He must not be very smart. Lol. It’s a good thing he wasn’t he saved you from some awkward situation later on. She could accidentally walk in on you two etc., it happens irl too not just in movies, provided that this guy was actually cheating on his partner. (And always trust your gut, doesn’t matter what other people tell you, your gut is always right. Trust your gut.)
This is why it’s important to take your time and get to know him. I hope you didn’t sleep with the guy or anything yet because, they’re often very quick to move and just wanna sleep with you usually. Like by third or fourth date they wanna sleep with you. I’ve encountered a few guys like this and they were married (I caught them lying to me so of course I didn’t sleep with any). These adulterers are usually also players they sleep with many women (they slept with 150-200 women for example). And they’re often quite charming and very smooth. But you can tell something off about them.
Well is he bald.. cause if I sen those products in a man’s bathroom I wouldn’t automatically think he has a girlfriend. Did you ask him I’m confused.
Likely just the people who have given up are the ones you can be 100% safe with, but those end up being more partnerships than relationships. Idk.
We do exist . I find it hard to find a woman who actually wants an adult relationship
us shy ones are loyal
the ones who have nice guy syndrome
sorry for that
>Boom. Aussie hair conditioner, shampoo and L’Oréal hair products…. I immediately left but not upset
LMAO!!! What!! If this is the way you think you deserve to be single & alone forever!
Could it be:
* that’s for the ex gf?
* a FWB, are you exclusive?
* his mom / sister when they come to visit?
..is he bald? you know hair products don’t have a gender, right?
Like am I really gonna have to worry about women ghosting me because I use Native shampoo?
You could have at least asked him before you ghosted him if you really wanted something with him but i digress
Please don’t ghost him and tell him, he should know he is a piece of shit
Perfect guy in terms of looks, communication etc will mostly cheat and because they keep getting more options easily.
I’m a man and I use those products, grew up with a single Mom and thats what she always had in the shower so I naturally continued buying it as an adult. I’ve had multiple ex girlfriends that used male deodorant (which I know is common) I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t ghost them after finding it in their bathroom. lol or wait…maybe it wasn’t😝
Maybe you should point blank ask him if he has a girlfriend. A lot of men use those products because they actually care about their hair. Did you find women’s clothing? Any other signs?