I have been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years. She has a habit of giving me the silent treatment when something upsets her sometimes for days and I’m left feeling confused, anxious, and unsure what I did wrong.
Ten days ago, she called me and kept addressing me by my formal title (almost coldly) multiple times. When I asked her what was going on, she finally said she believes I’m "hiding something" from her because I don’t share every detail of my life. I told her I’m not hiding anything, I just value some privacy and don't think I should have to account for every moment of my day.
This isn’t the first time this has happened. In the past, she gave me the silent treatment for:
- Applying for an online Master’s program without discussing it with her first
- Ordering a new phone from Amazon without discussing it with her first
She hasn’t talked to me for 10 days since the incident. Last Friday, I called her to tell her I missed her and to ask what I did wrong so we could discuss it. She acted like she didn’t care and like nothing had happened. Now, I feel like she’s actively avoiding me.
She gets upset if I set boundaries, accuses me of being secretive, and makes me feel like I’m the problem. I’m starting to wonder if this is emotional manipulation or just serious trust issues.
TL;DR: My girlfriend regularly gives me the silent treatment whenever I make decisions without discussing with her first (like applying for a Master’s or buying a phone). This time she’s been avoiding me for 10 days, says I’m “hiding things” because I don’t share every detail of my life, and acts like nothing happened when I try to talk.