I '24 F' have been with my partner '25 M' for 7 years almost 8.When I got pregnant at 17 we had massive pressure from my family to get married, but he didn't want to since we were young and wanted to wait until we were older. I wasn't too fussed. Then 4 years later when I was pregnant with our second, I brought up getting married again. We even went to the store to look at rings but he started acting very sulky and we left. In the car afterwards we had a massive fight in which he pretty much said he didn't want to marry me because of my "behaviour ". However he wouldn't specify exactly what I was doing and would only say " you're so perfect" and that he was the one that "causes all the problems". I told him "so you want another kid, a responsibility for a lifetime but not marriage with the mother of your kids?" . He just kept going on and said that "it's like a promise to God" and then eventually said within a year of us having our own home he was gonna propose. We had been homeowners for about 3 months at that point so he had until December. I did not bring it up, December came and passed. It's been almost 1yr 1/2 since it passed. I brought it up again a few days ago. And he just got so angry and riled up. He was like you want to get married, let's get married. I told him I want him to propose to me and he said well then I need time. Mind you this was meant to be a conversation but ended up being him screaming this at me, saying he doesn't know how to keep me happy, that marriage isn't a big deal. That I only cause problems. That "you're so perfect". Our daughter witnessed this all and was saying "mummy only wants to be married daddy". I feel so defeated. For whatever reason the phrase that marriage is like a "promise to God" has stuck with me and I crave that commitment, that extra step, the men in his family have all married. We have a home together, kids, good jobs, a dog, we have everything, i just don't understand. I burst into tears and he finally said let's get married but he said it with so much hatred I feel defeated like I've dreamt of this since I was little, this is not how I want it to be. We haven't spoken properly for 2 days since. I need advice, I feel stuck, I feel like a bloody place holder, a small part of me wants to leave, but then again I don't want to break up our family over marriage. I know alot of people don't do marriage. I just need to hear different opinions as I don't really have anyone to talk about this with.
TDLR : I '24F' have been in a relationship with my partner '25M' for 7yrs. I want marriage but he doesn't. He finally said let's get married but he screamed it at me and now I feel unsure, I feel stuck.