Hi everyone, this is my first post so I don’t really know how reddit works but hopefully this gets some traction and I can get some advice.
To start, I (18F) have been dating my boyfriend, (18M) for a year now. I haven’t told my parents about it as they are pretty strict and have tried to keep me sheltered for most of my life (but obviously I’ve rebelled behind their backs.) My boyfriend’s family knows about me and they are pretty laid back so they don’t ask about the relationship, they are just aware he has one. Recently, me and my boyfriend have been getting into arguments because he hates how I’m not able to freely hang out with him and I always have to lie. More specifically, he’s upset that I won’t stand up for myself against absurd rules of my parents. I’d also like to say my mom is on the chill side while my dad tries to control my social life and overall lifestyle. He always thinks I’m lying about something even when I’m actually telling the truth, but I haven’t done anything to break his trust.
A couple of weeks ago, me and my boyfriend agreed that I should plan tell my parents about our relationship after I turn 19 in November. We also agreed that this should happen at around the spring semester time so that I have put in my applications to transfer to a university (we both attend community college as of now.) Now, we got into an argument because I was not able to see him, something that has happened before. He got really upset and said that if I don’t tell my parents we have to stop hanging out. I said I will tell them on our agreed date, and he said then we wont hang out until then. I believe he probably said this out of anger, but I fear that he is serious. I don’t want to be pressured into telling my parents because I just don’t think it’s the appropriate time; instead, we should just stick to our agreed date.
I also don’t know how to tell my family when this agreed date DOES come. We are immigrants and my family doesn’t really agree with dating culture, almost everyone in my family got married pretty late in their 30’s. I am also very close with my aunt and she doesn’t agree with dating at a young age as she believes I should focus on schooling and a good career. She cares about me a lot and we see each other almost every day so I would have to break the news to her as well.
If anyone could give advice or shares the same situation, please help out! I’m stuck on how to go about this because me and my boyfriend talk about our future a lot and it is very promising. We know that breaking up isn’t an option because we see forever in each other, I just don’t know how to get past this part.
TLDR; I, 18(F) have been dating my boyfriend 18(M) for a year now and we have been getting into arguments because I haven’t told my strict family about us. How should I go about telling them?