I am in my 30s. I date a broad age range. I don't have this problem with guys in their 20s, and even with 30s only occasionally. But as soon as I match with someone 40+, I immediately roll my eyes, as I know it's not gonna work out… We can have a pretty good conversation online or on the phone, have video calls and whatnot where they often appear excited (although not always – on occasion, they look really bored, depressed and uninterested already at that stage so I drop them and don't pursue the whole thing further). But even if we have a good convo and they seem attracted to me – at the latest when I bring up meeting up IRL, say I message them that I'll be in their town/area to see friends and we could meet up – there's all these obstacles. They cannot accommodate my schedule. If I tell them 6 months in advance that I'm coming, then there will be last minute schedule changes or a compelling or not so compelling reason why they suddenly can't make it – and all these long and convoluted messages to overexplain it. They don't text me back on time when I ask them when they want to meet. If I tell them in advance that I'll be leaving town Tuesday at 11pm, they will text me on Tuesday at 9pm to ask if I wanna 'hang out'. They often turn hostile, gaslight me that the reason we couldn't make it work is because I didn't read that text message on time that they sent me a couple of hours before I was leaving, or because I wasn't flexible or accommodating enough with my schedule. The last 40+ guy when I told him that I'll be in London over the weekend to see some friends and that we could meet, at first he said that we could only meet if I come to his area (like an hr away from where I was staying, and he knew it), then he said not even then because he is very tired from work (he had the whole day off), then finally he left me a pretty hostile sounding voice message to ask why I'm even coming to London for just a few days, what's the point. This isn't someone I had been chasing. He wrote me on an app months before my trip and he was very proactive until the threat of meeting IRL became real. I find this really draining. Some of these people are divorced, but neither of them have big families or particularly chaotic schedules/social lives from the sound of it that would justify the flakiness. (If anything, the divorced dads with multiple kids often do have their shit together and are more outgoing, well groomed, they turn up for dates, etc.) Why do men in their 40s become like this? Is there anything I can do to mitigate it, or do I just need to move on from this age group and focus on the guys in their 20s-30s who seem much more enthusiastic, accommodating and pleasant to be around? With that age group, I don't seem to have these issues at all. Many thanks in advance for any replies!