I ‘F21’ feel disconnected and alone dispute supposedly being ‘in my prime’. My siblings are going to go off to college now and dispute supposedly being ‘in my prime’. My dad ‘M50’s and mother ‘F40’s are trying to help but it feels a little self serving. What am I supposed to do?

I 21, am disabled and work two days for a total of three hours. My parents are divorced and my younger siblings are preparing to leave for college. (One is going to law school and other getting a nursing degree. Both very smart and I couldn’t be prouder.) I live with my mother and starting a new system where I will stay at my dad’s house for a few nights. Now here’s where the post comes in.

My mom is insisting that I work a regular 20 hours for a full week dispute being disabled. She had my doctor remove me from being labeled disabled by the government so I could work. I went to a program for disabled adults and attempted to work at a local thrift store and it ended HORRIBLY. The only job that I’ve had that didn’t end in a disaster is a local pet store and my current job, an assistant secretary. This job is perfect for me.

I sit for a majority of the time and only stand up to walk in order to take out the trash. I love it and I get paid every two weeks. The issue for my mother is that I ONLY work two days a week for a total of six ours combined. My mom has been pushing me to at least find another job. The reason she wants me to work so much is because I’m supposed to pay for things like my phone bill and medical bills as well as I only qualify for some sorta Medicare benefits if I work ten hours.

Let me make this clear, I’m not trying to be lazy. I want to do more but I get exhausted very easily because of my medical conditions. By the time I get home from work, I’m tired. I can’t sleep at night, I wake up in pain because of a mini procedure (IUT) I had. I can do what I’m doing right now without much difficulty but I worry that if I start working the hours my mom wants, I’ll start to have issues.

My dad is no help. He’s disabled as well and our relationship is fairly…rocky. My dad cheated on my mom and abandoned me when I had to get a CathLab done. I’m trying to mend the relationship but I feel like he doesn’t really care.

Between my dad’s indifference, my mom’s pressure to work and my siblings preparing to leave for college in two weeks, I feel lost.

I suck at relationships due to my autism and I have a hard time reading my parents with my dad having mental disabilities due to a brain injury and my mom having her own personal issues that I don’t want to discuss because I respect her decision to keep her life private. She’s been seeing someone and has a life, I don’t want her to feel like I don’t want her happy. I want everyone to be happy but I don’t want to wring myself dry.

What am I supposed to do?