My girlfriend had mentioned the holiday national girlfriend day a couple of times and so we ended up talking about what she wanted to do that day. She asked me for nudes which I wasn't super excited about giving (I'm self conscious) but I said I'd still be willing to do so and this lead to her asking if I even wanted to celebrate the holiday to which I said ordinarily I wouldn't as I had yet to even hear of it prior to dating her. She said because I didn't want to that there would be no point in doing so to which I tried to clarify that I'd still be happy to do so if this is what she wanted at which point she abruptly told me to drop it. I asked if she was okay with this and she said she was just disappointed but would get over it.
So the rest of the week goes by and honestly everything seemed fine and normal until Girlfriend day came around and she ghosted me most of the day and I figured the ghosting was just cause of exam she had that day which normally keeps her busy. That was until suddenly she announced she wanted a break and we could talk about things after the break. I agreed to this break and a week later she tells me she was upset about me not celebrating girlfriend day. She called me selfish, lazy, and said if the relationship was to continue I needed to put in more effort because she deserves to be treated better. I tried to explain that I would celebrate girlfriend day next year and that the reason I didn't do anything this year was cause she said she no longer wanted to and told me to drop it. We agreed to end the call after I agreed to try and do better and she immediately sent a picture of two of my friends in a relationship celebrating girlfriend day.
She's my first girlfriend if that wasn't already clear enough and so what I'm asking is how fair is it for her to be this angry and if it is very fair what are some ways I do better in the future?
29 comments
In the future you should date someone who wants a relationship with a person and not a relationship with Instagram
Youre dating someone either in or fresh out of high school so expect her to act like a high schooler brother.
Speaking as a girlfriend… who the fuck celebrates ‘girlfriend day’ and takes it seriously? Sounds like hard work OP.
Find someone more mature if you want maturity. You are both in very different stages of life.
If she asked you to celebrate the day and mentioned it was important it’s a small easy thing to make her smile celebrate it idk why it’s so hard for men to just simply do for there partner I do think her communication comes off immature but it was clearly important to her if you cared you’d make it special simple fix
She doesn’t sound mature—she’s putting stock in a holiday few people have heard of, she’s communicating her wants and needs poorly, she’s not respecting your discomfort with sexting.
However, if there’s something to learn here, it’s that if your girlfriend mentions something she’d like you to do for her (like celebrating Girlfriend Day) it means that she wants you to take it from there, instead of asking her to plan her own celebration. You don’t have to care about the excuse (Girlfriend Day) in order to find a way to show her that you care. And if you find it more of a pain to plan than excitement, it probably means you two are mismatched.
You’re girlfriend has maturity issues. I advise against sending her nudes (ever). For her to be upset about some “made up” holiday is kinda crazy.
BTW, do you know when “boyfriend’s” day is? 🫠
The issue is not about girlfriend day at all here. It’s that she got upset and decided to drop it before having solved the misunderstanding. If I were you I’d probably have asked some hours later if she wanted to talk about it, as in the moment it’s best to just let it go with some people. We all handle being upset differently. Although, choosing to go on break instead of talking to you seems childish and like she’s “punishing” you for not chasing her down with flowers lol. And it seems weird that she wanted to compare you to some friends. If you didn’t know about girlfriend day, and she wabted to drop it, what were you gonna do??
The advice I have for you is to just listen, and keep being kind and understanding. You can’t read minds, but you can always ask if you feel like something is off. (To be clear, I don’t think you’re the AH here)
And yeah, as many said she doesn’t seem very mature. Quite common for her age tho, you grow a lot after high school. But remember that you deserve to be treated well, despite her being your first, even if you have many years ahead of you. Don’t put up with stuff that hurts you.
You know … Two week from now is national blowjob week.
It’s time for her to step up and start planning
Sounds like something a teenager would care about.
…the fuck is national girlfriend day?
You could also celebrate ex girlfriend day 😜
wtf is valentines day for then😂
How long have you been dating?
How many grades did she skip?
Have you guys been intimate?
Is this her first instance of extreme immaturity?
To do better, listen closely to what she values and ask her what makes her feel appreciated. If she tells you to drop something, check back later to avoid confusion. Small gestures on days important to her can make a big difference. It’s about showing consistent care and effort, not grand actions.
I don’t care if it’s the first relationship, if you’re older than 13 you’re getting too old for that shit.
Girlfriend day… meanwhile two weeks ago fb reminded me of a friend’s birthday and I was “hey, it is T’s birthday… wait, that means it is my birthday.” And it is not forgetfulness, it is not caring about celebrating any dates. Ok, I could be your mother but this was the third time in my life I had to be reminded by someone/something that it is my actual birthday and the first time it was my 20th. I mean the effing 20th and I gave a flying fuck. So, back to the point, you are too old for that shit.
A quick look showed me national boyfriend day is October 3. If you guys stay together do you think she will know this and celebrate it with you?
you’re dating a teenager and surprised she’s acting like teenagers do lmao.
Yeah there is no girlfriend holiday.
Yeah , you literally got a barely legal girl out of high school. At this point, this is your fault for expecting something else. It’s wild. You expect maturity when you won’t even date someone closer to your age.
Wow, hope you learned your lesson 😂
National Girlfriends’ Day is about celebrating friendship between girls who are friends. Not about guys celebrating their girlfriends. Send her this link. https://nationaltoday.com/national-girlfriend-day/
Updateme
National Girlfriends Day is **not** about women in a relationship. It’s about celebrating friendships between women. Obviously some women took the day and twisted the meaning.
Find a girl who doesn’t live her life based off of what crappy tic tok influencers convince her a bf should be
Go find a girl, likely one that reads books for fun and can think for herself, cause she is less likely to put you through these dumb relationship tests and social media comparisons
Yeah I’m gonna be honest I have not heard about “girlfriend day”, except maybe once on tiktok? I don’t think it’s a real holiday and I think she’s being pretty immature.
Tell her that if you are doing national gf day for her, you’ll expect her to honor national steak and blow job day to. Cause you deserve to get treated to right?
Her behaviour demonstrates a lack of emotional maturity and an inability to give the situation the appropriate contextual gravitas. She is 18, which is partly why this is, but if you habitually are dealing with a young woman who resorts to mind games, then perhaps finding a woman more your own age with a more philosophical outlook would be more advantageous.
Girlfriend’s Day is actually for women to celebrate their girl friends.
What, how and when was “Girlfriend” day?