This is a realization I (23F) had while having a discussion with my boyfriend (23M) today.
Partners in a relationship want to feel understood by each other, and nothing can undermine that quicker than saying I’m not sure X.
I’m not sure how to help. I’m not sure why you’re upset. I’m not sure what to say. I’m not sure what to do.
If you are not sure, be curious! Ask, communicate, and have a conversation! I never grasped why I felt so slighted at times until I had this realization.
TLDR: Don’t use “I’m not sure” but instead take the initiative to demonstrate a desire to understand