I dated an avoidant man who made me feel like I was in a romantic witness protection program.

In the beginning, he was all in—good morning texts, random calls just to “hear my voice,” talking about moving in together. I was out here planning color schemes for our hypothetical kitchen.

Then… poof. He started pulling back in the weirdest ways. He’d plan a date, pick me up, drive halfway there, then suddenly “not feel like going” and take me home. He once texted me “I miss you” while I was sitting next to him on the couch.

But the real plot twist? For my birthday, he booked us a weekend trip to a cute cabin. I was packing my bags, thinking “This is it, he’s finally letting me in.” The morning of the trip, he calls me and says:

“I can’t go… I need a weekend to myself to think about us.”

He literally went… alone. Posted a picture of the cabin fireplace with the caption “Self-care.”

When I ended it, he told me I was “running away from a good thing.”

Sir, you were running away from me… at a full sprint… in snow boots.

I’m done with dating.


9 comments

  1. Why would you let this person stop you from dating? Learn to stop an avoidant sooner and don’t invest until you know they are capable of a connection.

  2. This guy is definitely not worth a “I’m done dating” , just a scrub that showed you he wasn’t the one.

    Plenty more out there

  3. Wow this guy is like the people I run into. Some lady matched with me. She’s maybe 4 hours from me. She suggests she could take a train to me. I said oh have you taken a train to Chicago before? Haven’t heard from her since.

    Try to keep him on the line because the things he did are hilariously stupid. You could write a comedy show with them.

  4. I’d crash out lol they’re so charming in the beginning. Texting I miss you while next to you and pics of the cabin is wild. It all is!
    We need an avoidants anonymous group lol could even find some matches

  6. His honeymoon phase is over so now you see how he actually is the real face of him. You deserve better not him. It’s pretty draining to date an avoidant man.

  7. It’s exhausting. I got an ex like that, the difference was he didn’t have the heart to tell me when he decided to abandon me and our plans and just disappeared. Every time there was anything minor he disappeared. Every time I was going through something I was alone. It was once his birthday and we were gonna go drink in a small group. I was left to finish my makeup, I started drinking whilst doing so. The others went to a friends house nearby. Later I can’t get a text back I text the friend, he says my man (ex) wanted to be alone & the friend left w his girlfriend. I was left alone I was so excited too. Luckily the friend & gf came to pick me up & we went to the girls place. No text no nothing. Sometimes he disappeared for a WEEK & I was always so worried & then he just came back didn’t apologise no nothing. Luckily he’s an ex now.

  8. Agree with the comment, why would you let an asshole like that stop you from dating??? He’s not just avoidant, he’s actually an asshole. Like what normal person would plan a weekend trip with someone and then the day of cancels, AND THEN goes alone.

    Come on girl. Even you should be able to tell that’s beyond being an avoidant.

    Make sure you communicate that you want something long term very soon so all the avoidants get scared sooner and run away sooner. Good filtering process

  9. exactly what you said at the end, don’t date again, its never worth it & it sucks. as someone who is believed to be avoidant as well, i don’t blame him for not wanting to be with you. being around people is triggering

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