Is turning into a copy of my father inevitable?

17 comments

1. The good parts sure, the rest you have the ability to influence

2. As we age, our taste buds become less sensitive. Which is why adults like things like you listed, whereas children don’t like those things because they are too strong for their tastes. That’s not necessarily genetic. As far as everything else, you are definitely a product of genetics. Personally, I hate seeing pictures of myself now that I’m mid fourties, because I look so much like my dad.

3. There was one time I was working on my car with my estranged father, and he was going through a checklist at the store before they closed for the night. Kept highlighting one part but also noting he had one already, but hey we should get another just in case.

   Get to the store, dunno if he’s tryna save 7 bucks or what but he goes, “nah, don’t need that part.”
   Get back to the garage and that little thing we should’ve bought another of breaks. Shop closed.

   My Fiancèe says I do this kinda shit all the time lmfaoo

   *but,* I know my priorities. My father is the kind of man that will do anything and everything for anyone who knows his name, and then forgets to show up for his actual loved ones. That’s something that did not transfer forsure.

   Little things I’m sure you’ll notice, but if there are any parts you truly abhor, you will probably transcend them.

4. According to my father I am turning into my grandfather 🤣 (and to be fair he is not wrong)

5. I tried to be as much like my Dad as possible. I turned into my Mom instead 

6. I yawn exactly like my father now and it weird me out each time

7. Nah, just superficial resemblances, like you would with anyone you share a lot of time with.

8. Taste changes are more about growing older, rather than being your father’s son. You will notice behavioral changes.

   But, you are also half your mother, so you will notice some elements of her in your life, too. That is, you aren’t a copy of your father, just a…derived work, if you will.

9. Is it inevitable? No
   Is it likely? It’s more probable than you think.

   Your dad had a major role in forming you as a person, he was in many ways your first and most powerful template of how a man is supposed to behave. As you get older, yep it becomes more pronounced. Trust me when you have kids, you will shock yourself by hearing your father say things out of your mouth. Something that he always used to say when you were a kid will come out you and you will have a moment.

   When you have kids (or if you have kids) you will likely understand and appreciate you father much more than you did before. You will come to understand that he was just a guy doing his best in the moment. You will understand the choices and sacrifices he made that you likely will not have thought about before because you never had to consider them and he never mentioned them or complained about them (at least to you).

   If you think of him fondly, then you are lucky. A man could do much worse than becoming his dad.

10. I think this is a beautiful thought to ponder and play with. I used to notice myself doing stuff like my pops and it would send me into a panic because there were a lot of times throughout my upbringing that we didn’t get along and being like him was like a confirmation of all the stuff I didn’t like about myself.

    The more introspection and self examination and work on myself I did, the more I started to see that a lot of the stuff I really loved about myself were also reflections of his behavior. The way I approached problems, my values and idealism, were things that he embodied too, he just expressed them through different mediums than I did. It helped me respect a lot of his perspective on things (we still disagree on some stuff, but it’s not an identifier anymore). Now I’m able to communicate with him a lot more comfortably and we have a much better relationship. So the concept of the inevitability of turning into your dad, I mean, it’s not necessarily guaranteed, but also it’s probably not as terrifying as all that.

11. There’s some ways I turned into my dad. There’s other ways I couldn’t be more different. I chose not to make what I thought were his mistakes. I followed his example where I thought he was wise. And because you learn from example, I act in some ways like him, I have a similar style about me. I’m also like my mum, on the same basis. They were both good examples in some ways, not in others.

12. Hell no. I’m like the opposite of my dad. He was terrible with money, not a good problem solver, was a sucker in business deals, squandered his education and career, destroyed his marriage, and just generally failed at being middle class. I’m quite the opposite. I’m stable in my career and financial life, my home life is stable and sorted out, my retirement prospects are healthy. Thankfully, I learned all the things NOT to do in my 40s by watching him fuck it up so much.

13. I’ve chosen not to be an exact copy of my dad, at least in the things that aren’t genetic. Take the good, leave the bad.

    I don’t share his love of gambling, drinking, over-eating, late onset diabetes and heart failure.

    I do share his ‘be a man of your word’ and ‘never stop learning’ attitudes.

14. I’ve been told I was a “clone” of my father since before I could walk. I resented it then and as I’ve gotten older I’ve also come to realize that my father is not a good man – the consequence of that is that I’m very intentional to *not* become like him in the ways I can control.

15. I have been told I have very similar mannerisms. And I love my dad but there are things about him that I would not replicate in a million years

16. I suggest you turn to Dr. Rick he can help homeowners from becoming their parents

17. Dear Son

    You got more than that and all your past flames were thankFUL for it. Yur Welcome