Hi everyone,
I am in dire need of an advice. So I 29M am in relationship with my gf 29F since 9 years. She is so pretty and understanding, but lately I am having second thoughts because of the following reasons.

  1. She was mistreated in her childhood, so now she thinks that she would not compromise with herself again, as per her, people pry on weakness. On the other hand, I come from a very humble and loving family. I am always ready to compromise for my loved ones as it gives me a sense of happiness. As a girl, she has to fight for her rights from the start and she thinks that if you dont fight for yourself, society will trample over you.

  2. She is all good, caring, understanding, untill she gets mad. Once mad, she says most hurtful things and doesn't even listen to me. I've done a lot of things unintentionally in the past that hurt her, but somehow we got through. Now, she always brings the same things up when I confront her, even when its her fault.

I am getting close to marriage age, I am dead scared of the thought that what if she is unable to gel up with my family.? It will be chaos. What if she is not able to respect my parents.? What if I my parents said anything in anger and she retaliates.?


1 comment

  1. She was abused as a child and developed a narcissistic-type (b-cluster) personality disorder like almost everyone who is abused does. Narcissists (without *effective* treatment and support) are almost always manipulative and abusive in additional ways, so I’d advise against dating them unless you’re interested in a long-haul project to help their psychotherapy (at the end of which they may well leave, having heavily reoriented their worldview).

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