Me(F20) and my boyfriend(M23) have been dating for 8 months now. I have a baby that’s about to be 8 months (me and him were talking for months while I was pregnant and I’ve knew him for a few years through family) He is not the father me and the father did not work out and do not co parent.
My boyfriend wants to be the stepdad to my baby and be called dad his parents are called his grandparents. He does not feed or take care of the baby. If I ask him to watch him he sits on his phone the whole time and ignore him. Has changed 5 diapers since he’s been born and visited me one day in the hospital after I was in there over a week with the baby. I had complications and had to be monitored.
I’ve been communicating that if he wants to be a step dad he has to step up and do more things. Nothing has improved he doesn’t wake up at night to help and gets very upset whenever the baby cries. We do live together and baby sleeps in our room. He hasn’t worked since we been together because he has a case pending. And I don’t work either because I don’t have a village or someone to take care of the baby. I cook clean and do everything all day while he plays video games or on his phone. He swears things will be different and change.
He goes off a lot with his friends but has cut it down some because I got upset I was never able to go and his friends don’t respect our relationship. They constantly mention his exs or other girls that like him or try to “put him out there”. He did cheat on me in the past multiple times that I forgave him for. Our relationship was okay before because I was okay with everything going on and he was little more supportive but never helpful.
Do you think it’s worth trying to save the relationship? are things going to ever change or does it seem like a lost cause already? I don’t know if it’s too late to start over but I want to know before my baby is too old if this wouldn’t work out
TLDR:I don’t know what to do me and my boyfriend have went south and I’m not sure if things will improve when my baby gets older or get worse