To anyone who does this, don’t say things like:
“I want this forever”
“you’re going to be my husband/wife”
“Our kids are going to look so cute”
“I’ve never felt love like this”
“You’re my soulmate”
“You’re the love of my life”

Or any other shit like that if you don’t mean it. Why would you say that to somebody if you’re barely sure if you want to date them? What kind of sick, twisted person does that?

Miss me with that bullsh…


31 comments

  1. Right, because that is love bombing. God forbid we get enthusiastic about our love for someone.

  2. To get laid.

    People dont say what they mean to mean it, they say what they want to benefit their situation.

  3. I think just showing any interest to someone, when you know you aren’t actually interested in that way shouldn’t be allowed. 

  4. Because sometimes it can feel so right in the moment until you think about it more later

  6. My favorite is when they send you something “cute” with the caption “us” or something like that.

    Then ghost you two weeks later.

  7. I’m not excusing them, but it wouldn’t work so well if a lot of people weren’t neck deep in Disney-fied ideals of relationships.

    It takes two years on average to really truly get to the core parts of people. Anybody making sweeping grand, soulmate gestures within a few weeks or months is at best a little reckless and immature. Though there is a lot of it because a lot of cultures push it so aggressively.

  8. I had a guy baby bomb me, he knew I wanted kids and wouldnt stop talking about wanting them taking pics with relatives kids. I fell for it hook line and sinker

  9. it is terrible idea to say such things to people one barely knows. But, these are great words to hear when already in long relationship.

  11. Met a lovely dude. We really hit it off. He couldn’t stop telling me how “amazing,stunning,beautiful” I am,how he’d be proud to call me his and he wanted nothing more than for us to grow old together!!!

    Haven’t spoken for over 2 weeks now. Guess he bumped his head or summat

  14. Okay, for one, I thought lovebombing starts way earlier. Early “I love you” or “I don’t want to loose you” like as in first or second date, accompanied with tons of positive emojis. Being pretty clingy.

    For second, not everyone who lovebombs does this out of spite an controlled manipulation. Some people can really feel that way, and not sure if I got stronger impulses in that regard (I don’t lovebomb anymore after one time when I recognised how I was pushing someone away, might have been just being clingy instead of lovebombing, though) as ADHD. But I also think men act much more in impulses.

    Some men might really mean it – but just in the moment. By pure feeling, yes, I can have the urge to say ILY early, or to think of saying never wanting to loose that person ever again. I dont, as I can control myself, but dann, the urge is there, and yes, maybe at times it can mean just in that very moment.

    And the men who are saying this out of impulse might feel pretty nailed on it by the other after, pressured.

  15. I think guys memory wipes off to be a clean slate after they get laid….. like they don’t remember anything they said or promised….
    I had a guy who said “I may hurt you but I won’t break you”
    BOOM
    ghosted me and married this other women in a year after he ghosted me

    He is like not the guy I met on dating app, he was my childhood friend

  16. It doesn’t really bother me. It is just a very clear sign for me to run away from that person.

  19. This may be the benefits of having the attachment style that gets turned off by this lol. Won’t even get the words out and we’re gone like the wind 💨

  20. I was loved bombed about a year and a half ago. Said all the “right things” all the time. I told him that he seemed too good to be true. I was right. He made me anxious all the time. Would pull back then be over the top, it was a weird dopamine hit, I honestly hated it. Then he ghosted me as a way to “break up with me” after about 5 months. Just poof… gone. Who does that! As I’ve learned, that’s very common with love bombers. He blocked me on everything with zero explanation. What a narcissist. But I created an alternate phone number, found him again on WhatsApp, and told him a thing or two. Then I blocked him on everything in return. Then I connected randomly with one of his ex’s and our stories were very similar. So a serial love bomber… cool cool cool. But she helped give me closure. And it made me realize there is a faction of humans out there that can’t help themselves but be asshole love bombers, on repeat. But he taught me exactly what to look out for. And I ran into it with other men, a few more times, and immediately shut that shit down and said nope you aren’t for me. Sorry, not sorry.

    Finally found someone that matches my energy and also hates ghosting. It feels very normal between us and things are going at a steady pace which is so refreshing. I don’t feel anxious with him. I feel very at peace and happy. I don’t worry that he’s going to disappear on me.

  21. Stuff like that said to me would be met with an immediate no. You have to take on board some responsibility for being the one to fall for it. People exist who saiy it, regardless of how you wish they didn’t. I’ve had it happen. I ended up explaining the difference between love and first thrills or infatuation- which is why I didn’t say I loved them back after a matter of weeks, to their surprise. Didn’t get as far as 3 months – 1st and last abusive episode ( for which he got arrested). Best not to tolerate crap like that as something sinister could follow. I’m glad that when it came to it, I did what needed to be done to be safe.

  22. My ex love bombed me, only to ghost me 4 months into our relationship & then hop into a new relationship 2 weeks later. they’re still together. I learned my lesson. I also learned that they were already in love when they got together. So he must’ve cheated on me, or he can’t stand being alone 🙄

  24. A guy matched with me and first message “hey I can see you being my wife”

    Like hi. Looking for something a little more substantial, but thanks for the laugh?

  26. The keywords are: “if they don’t mean it”. Plenty of people have gotten married after 6 months of dating and are still married 25 years later. My parents met for the first time on their wedding day and are still together 40 years later. Personally think that people have grown impatient and have seen partners as replaceable, there is no longer any meaning in the word commitment. I love you today, tomorrow is different then I divorce. No, life isn’t always going to be luxury vacations and bonu$e$. You want a person who is true to their words and if he says “I love you” and “I want to marry you”, it should mean that he is in it for the long run not until something better comes around or until I get bored.

  27. But what if I want to love bomb the crap out of someone, tell them ill wait while they go to boot camp, and talk about how perfect you two look together- then nonchalantly hook up with half your friends and some random dude immediately after you leave the club?

    My ex did that and seemed to really enjoy herself. You’re telling me I *shouldnt* do that??

    I don’t know how to finish this comment, trauma dumped myself into a corner… I completely agree, fk love bombers, fk cheaters, fk people who just mess around with people’s feelings like it doesn’t have long lasting effects.

    Genuinely don’t understand how a mind like that operates.

  30. I agree, this happened to me before from a girl and it drove me mad. Took me over a year to get over her. Shit was not something I want to deal with again. Thank you for this post.

  31. I don’t believe in chronological qualifiers for when something ought to be said like a year or two years, that shit is formulaic, inflexible and too generalized.

    I do however believe in good judgement about when it’s appropriate to say these things with a thorough examination or consideration of consequences from that action. You don’t just say it in the spur of the moment, you say it when relatively confident that you want a long term journey with the person.

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