This has been messing with my head for a few days now and I honestly don’t know if I’m being paranoid or if I’m seeing things for what they are.
My girlfriend and I live together. The other night I got home late from work, nothing unusual, and we had sex. It was all normal until she took her clothes off and I caught that specific latex smell. It wasn’t strong, but it was definitely there. The thing is, we haven’t used condoms in weeks. That smell should not have been there.
I didn’t say anything at the time, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. A few days later I was in our room, about to plug in my phone charger near the bed, and I noticed a little piece of what looked like a torn condom wrapper under the edge of the frame. One of those small foil corners. I almost brushed it off at first. Thought maybe it was from one of ours, or even just some random bit of trash like ramen packaging or whatever. We clean the place often, but still, stuff gets missed sometimes.
But then it clicked. We had a brand-new box of condoms in our drawer. I remember we had used four, and the rest were untouched. Just out of curiosity, I checked again and yep, one was missing. Not misplaced, not hidden. Just gone. And we haven’t used it.
That’s when I brought it up. I mentioned the smell, the wrapper, and the missing condom. Her face changed immediately. She went pale, eyes wide, and just froze for a few seconds before launching into full defense mode. Said I was crazy for even knowing how many condoms we had. I told her I wasn’t counting obsessively, I just remembered because it’s not like we use them every day. Then she said maybe one got lost or thrown out by accident. And then came the gaslighting. She accused me of being paranoid, controlling, and insecure.
Honestly, it’s not just this one thing. I’ve been noticing weird behavior for a while now. Her phone is always face down. She hides her screen after unlocking it. Won’t even let me use her phone to change music in the car. She’s been wearing perfume I’ve never smelled on her before. She keeps having sudden work meetings at really weird times. And emotionally she’s been distant. Cold. Less affectionate. Whenever I asked, she just blamed stress from work or being tired.
I don’t have proof. I didn’t catch her cheating. But between everything I just described and the way she reacted when I confronted her, I just don’t feel okay anymore. I don’t trust her, and I don’t like how I feel in my own house, in my own relationship. I’m leaning toward breaking up, but part of me still doubts myself. How can I make a right choice here?
TL;DR:
I smelled latex on my girlfriend when we got intimate, even though we hadn’t used condoms in weeks. Days later, I found what looked like a torn condom wrapper under our bed. Checked our fresh box, one was missing, and we didn’t use it together. When I brought it up, she froze, then gaslit me hard. Plus, there had been other red flags lately. I’m strongly considering ending things, but I want a reality check first. How do I make a right choice?