hello reddit, i would love your advice on something.
TLDR; my husbands social media habits (requesting/liking pictures/direct messaging about nonsense) to girls we are not close with is really bothering me and making me feel embarrassed and i want advice on how to confront him being as he is extremely sensitive and emotional.
I (F31) and my husband (36y) have been together for 7 years and married for 2. My husband doesn’t understand boundaries in terms of social media and other women and i’m tired of feeling embarrassed/not considered by him.
For example, years ago an old friend of mine whom i did not keep in regular contact with had messaged me to ask me if everything was okay between my husband and I because he had direct messaged her on instagram through her story asking her when she was going to come hang out again, which it had been about a year or so that I last had that friend over since we just drifted apart naturally. I brought this up to him and how his message to her came across and he said he understood.
Another example is that a best friend of mine told me a month ago that her younger sister (25y) whom my husband has met a handful of times told her that he constantly is “liking” her instagram stories and posts but nothing more than that. The content of the stories are just day to day things or selfies. My best friends sister felt it was frequent enough to mention it to my bff who explained to her that he doesn’t mean anything by it and that he may not quite get social media norms. I have not mentioned this to my husband as i do not want to throw my friend under the bus.
Another example is he requested a different good girlfriend (we will say friend #2 to make it simple) of mine’s close girlfriend on social media (so my friends friend) and has been liking all her posts, meanwhile i didn’t start following this friend of a friend until today, but according to his likes on her page, he started following her about a year ago which would have been when we all were at Friend # 2 house celebrating her birthday. We are not close to the friend of a friend whatsoever and see her once in a blue moon so i really was caught off guard as to why he was already following/liking her pics.
Friend #2 told me also that her friend mentioned above had told to her that she thought it was random that my husband added her, but that he also went as far as to direct message her through an instagram story and asked something like “where is this?” to which she didn’t reply to according to her/the message she showed my friend. I do not want to drag Friend # 2 into this but i want to mention to my husband that i don’t think it’s appropriate that he even followed her friend in the first place let alone to like every single post.
My husband is also extremely sensitive and can take things as a personal attack and react in a negative way so I want to hear some advice on how to bring this matter up in a way that is not accusing, but more so wanting him to understand that this behavior is not acceptable, how it comes across to other women, and that it is embarrassing in my position. thank you for reading ❤️