So, I work in a healthcare setting where I support vulnerable people from all walks of life. I'm not a doctor btw. You could say I'm a nurse of a specific role.
Anyway. When I am at work, I do my job. I wear a mask. I wear a mask the whole time. It's insane. I can portray someone who is caring and interested and wanting to help in any way possible.
But when I'm finished the mask comes off. I feel it leave my body as I'm walking to my car. I forget my work within minutes of leaving even though some of the tasks I've completed are bat-shit crazy (compared to the average role). I've often felt strange about how easily I can turn this switch off.
Idk wtf my point/question is with this post. In a position where you'd expect someone to be VERY passionate about it and here I am just like lmao (in my mind) I can't wait to finish and get paid just makes me laugh sometimes.
Not sure if this is 'imposter' syndrome or just completely normal for everyone else?
34 comments
Good for you buddy. It will keep you sane. I wish I could do that
Yeah this reminds me of my 10 years of ICU/ER nursing.
One day I realized that all I wanted to do is get through the shift and get the hell out of there as smoothly and easily as I could, the best way to do that was put on the mask.
Just be the person that others look forward to working with and being around, it will make your life so much easier and once you clock leave it all behind you and go back to being yourself.
The great thing about nursing is you clock out and leave it behind, now I’m in the business world with a work phone and unless I put in a week of vacation there’s no escaping that phone.
You’ve kind of touched on two completely separate things. Being able to “switch off” work mode is completely healthy and normal. It’s *vital* when you work in a career where you deal with sick and/or dying people.
Not having compassion for patients, though, is a completely different thing altogether – and it is definitely *not* a constant in that profession. Most people I know that work in the medical field are doing it precisely because they *do* care about other people.
Maybe you’re just burnt out, or maybe you should consider alternate career choices. It’s always a bit horrifying to me when I read something like this from a medical professional.
I have never had “a passion” for working most jobs.
I still do the best I can at whatever job I do. But to me? A job is a job.
Maybe if I fall into a legitimate career MAYBE I would care. But, I also know a company does not care about you as a person.
You show up, do your job as best as you can then go home and forget about work. I absolutely refuse to bring work home with me. So, if I can’t finish whatever I’m doing that day? It’s the thing for tomorrow.
Companies do not care about you. You are an asset, a “human resource.” End of the day, you provide them a service, they pay you money for your service. The end.
My dad was an ER doctor and I think he did this at work too. I don’t know what was going on in his head but a couple times I’d come see him for a sprained ankle and overhear him having great bedside manner with a patient nearby. But most days he came home from work and talked about how stupid people are. So I think he did kind of the same thing you might be doing. Be very friendly and empathetic to peoples faces then forget about that later and be super cynical.
It’s called compartmentalization and it’s completely normal. It’s all right, it’s helpful! It’s better that than fixate on work outside of the office. I basically never switch off, which isn’t great, but I really like what I do, so it doesn’t seem too much of a chore. If I wasn’t fond of my job, I would hope I could switch it off when I left!
FYI, those in the health care industry commonly suffer from compassion fatigue, so it’s probably good to have some separation.
what the fuck is this post
Am Schizoid.
My life is a mask.
Normal I think. I accomplished my professional milestones and after that eh. I’d rather play video games with my kid and be with my friends and family.
Most people don’t care about their job. It’s just a paycheck
Yes, people pretend to care. It makes life much easier and results in less conflict.
Not sure if you think you are in a category all to yourself, you aren’t. Plenty of people think that way. I don’t give work a second thought as I’m driving away each day.
Work is work. Not many people are invested wholeheartedly in it. We get in, do our shit, and get out to get a paycheck. That’s it for most people.
I do not care to the point my fam literally never hears about work unless it is something wild or funny that I want to share. I have always left it at work and glad I can say that I do that honestly.
At the end of the day we have have jobs to make money.
Compartmentalizing can be healthy
When someone seriously asks I always tell them I hate my job and think my company is a joke. When asked why I work hard then? I always say this.
“I work hard because I’m a man of my word. I promised to work hard for my paycheck and be as reliable as I can. So I do. My word is the only reason I work hard at all.”
Seems normal. Show up, do the job. Go home and don’t think about. Ur job shouldn’t be ur life
Its needed for some jobs I worked retail for 7 years in a supermarket I always tried to be upbeat and positive it slowly turned into a mask after the 5th year the company stopped treating us like people and reverted to treating us like numbers. once you have the skill its easy to turn on and off just dont let anyone walk over you and remember the company does not give a shit about you you can be replaced tomorrow do the minimum hard work only nets you one thing: more work
Work: someone pays us to do things they Can’t or won’t do.
It’s just a hunger imduced tic. Don’t worry, mentally leaving work is the correct reaction.
Probably an advantage. Getting too emotionally involved can cloud your judgement..
I always found it to be a protective mechanism.
In healthcare you see a lot of things and hear a lot of things and find yourself smack bang in the middle of situations that most people couldn’t dream of.
wearing a mask and then letting it drop afterwards is fairly normal in that line of work, it protects your mental health.
It’s normal. It seems extreme because it regards peoples health, but at the end of the day, it’s just another day at the office for you.
Reading this I found myself wondering if this isn’t some kind of adaptive trauma response. You work in an intense environment, around death and illness and suffering. It almost sounds like a kind of disassociation hits when you leave.
It’s not uncommon, no.
Nope, it’s not the imposter syndrom. You just found a way to continue doing your job without going crazy because you see misery every day. Try to imagine how you would feel if you cared for each of the person you talk to each day with the kind of job you’re doing.
It’s important to know how to separate work from personnal life.
I think you’ve phrased this a little oddly.
This kind of compartmentalization and detachment is pretty typical for people in high stress, high stakes jobs, especially ones with the human element – EMS, doctors, nurses, fire dept, soldiers in wartime, etc.
Lets look at this a different way, what if you *couldn’t* do that? Every day someone dies on the job or has a devastatingly bad outcome/prognosis, you go home and are as upset as the average person is to those things. If that was the case, you’d likely burn out quickly or be unable to cope, and you’d probably be unable to enjoy any of your life with the regularity that those things occur in some roles. Imagine an EMT that’s traumatized by every serious accident they have to work.
It’s fine and even healthy IMO as long as you’re keeping an eye on your behavior and making sure that you aren’t becoming indifferent *while on the job* to those you are supposed to be helping.
It’s mentally healthy to leave work at work and go home and concentrate on people or things you care about. People’s health is 100% important to them 24/7, but for you it;’s a *job*. If you’re doing your work well and at least *exhibiting* compassion, I’d say you’re doing okay. I’d also say given a serious, often hectic job, it’s normal to *just stop caring* once you’re “off the clock.”
I work 4 10-hour days and then I’m out for 3 days. On that last day, I walk out the door, the PPE comes off and is stowed and I’m free, baby! But when I’m at work, that it what I am *doing*. (Well, and taking a break on reddit.)
What you are describing is emotional labour.
The term has been hijacked to be women specifically, and refering to the using emotional control as part of their work (the original meaning), to being nice to their partner, to emotionally identify as having done tasks. But the original meaning was not gendered.
It’s a lot more common than you realize. Most people work to live. You gotta do what you gotta do, you know?
I’m in sales, I change my mask about 100 times a day depending on who I’m talking to but actually caring is not one of them lol
Its been working for me my whole life. I’ll admit I’m a bit envious of people who are actually passionate about their career, though.
I finally got myself into this mindset with my job and it’s been a game changer for my over all well being. I still care in a sense that I’m doing a good job but I used to be involved in so many high level decisions and felt like I had to be “in the know”. Now when they don’t want to tell me something I’m just like, ok and move on with my day.
Sounds exactly like my job role.
It’s completely normal. It’s what stops you getting burned out with compassion fatigue and allows you to perform consistently.
Be glad you have a job where you can do that.
Yup I’ve been doing this for a couple decades at multiple companies. The mask is my key to success