So I (22m) have never had sex or been in a relationship before, but I’ve been having a lot of anxiety lately that I’m still gonna be a virgin at 30 and no one’s ever gonna wanna be in a relationship with me because they will probably consider that a “Red Flag” and won’t wanna date me because of it, but I made a post on that a couple weeks ago so I won’t go over all my concerns I already went through on that post.
Anyways, quite a few people on that post commented saying when my future girlfriend and I are both ready to “Do the deed” that I should just lie and say I’ve don’t this before if they ask or just don’t bring that up at all, but I I kinda feel like that would be disrespectful to do and if I were to tell her after or later on, she would feel used, so I really don’t want to lie about it, it doesn’t feel right. At the same time though, if I do tell her, I’m scared she’s gonna think I’m just using her (Which I would never do, I want a real relationship more than anything in life rn) and she’s gonna break up with me no matter how strong of a connection we have. Some people are also saying that she’s not gonna want to “Teach Me” how to have sex and she’ll either break up with me or cheat on me then. All of these thoughts just make me anxious and make me feel the need to lose my virginity as fast as possible otherwise I’m gonna be alone forever. 😢
Anyways, I just want to ask you all for your advice. When I do get a girlfriend and when we are both ready to “Do the deed”, should I tell her I’m a virgin beforehand, or is it better to lie (I would appreciate some women’s perspectives on this as well if possible)? If you think it’s better to tell her, when is an appropriate time to tell her and how can I tell her without making her second guess being in a relationship with me? Thanks in advance for all of your answers.