I’m not south Asian and had a past relationship with an Afghan man. It was a complex relationship and I’ve been reflecting on some patterns that I’m curious about.
He came from a very ambitious family and was extremely driven himself — focused on success, education, and status. I often felt like he was under pressure to perform and there seemed to be a silent competition within his siblings. He rarely showed vulnerability (only little by little over the years) needed constant validation and praise from me, and struggled to talk about emotions. He was also quite traditional in how he saw gender roles — expecting emotional support from me, while being distant himself. He was often very harsh especially when he didn’t feel respected. Also he was very ashamed, when he didn’t succeed and hid things from me when he didn’t feel good enough like taking public transportation??😅 eventhough he drives an expensive car. And I’ve know him even before he had anything.
What I’m wondering: Is emotional distance or hiding struggles common among south Asian/Afghan men because of cultural or family expectations? Or is this more of a personality thing?
Not trying to generalize — just trying to understand. Thank you for any insight