Little background. My girlfriend and I have been dating over 3.5 years and our whole relationship has been great. We did long distance for a year and got through it, but it took a toll on both of us at times. I recently got a job near where she is finishing her degree so we could cut the distance and be able to see eachother easier and more often, but yet still homesick and want to be close to my family (17 hr drive)
She recently has been living with me the past 2 months while she has a clinical in the city I’m in. While living with her I realized how free and able to spend the money she doesn’t have (loans, credit card) and I’m the opposite. I like to have a large emergency fund and want to save up for a house eventually.
Since she’s moved in, I am obligated to go to a few weddings back in our hometown that usually end up costing me around $400-$500 every weekend after travel and hotels etc. I’ve expressed that I want to save money any way I can and going to weddings where we don’t know anyone too well doesn’t make much sense.
On top of that, she has no idea where she wants to end up after school. She wants to live in a new city and “live while we’re young” but to where I want to be in the future, spending/throwing it away on rent in a downtown big city just doesn’t make sense.
While living with eachother, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells and am putting her needs over my own. I’m an introvert and I need alone time and space to decompress once in awhile, but she takes it as I don’t want to be around her. I occasionally think about when I was single I didn’t have any worries or anxiety and just lived free rather than watching every step.
Recently she asked if I saw a future with her and I told her it was blurry, because of all those factors and felt I was getting burnt out in our relationship.
But needless to say we have a lot in common and I love her and she loves me but we don’t see eye to eye on what we want in the future. So just in a rut but can’t seem to dig myself out of it.
Thanks for listening