So I (F30) met this guy (M26) in the middle of a life shift, he was going to leave the country after a month and a half but I wanted to explore things with him and see if we were compatible. If I saw a future, I could have arranged maybe moving out of the country for him if things worked out.
Within that month and a half, our dates went really well. He ticked off every single box of everything I wanted in a guy and I really liked him. But I didn’t show I was head over heels or anything, I was just going with the flow. But I knew from the first date if things didn’t work out, it would be one of those soul crushing heartbreaks. I could already feel that.
He was the one who told me I made him feel something, and that he was looking for a relationship, and he wanted to get to know me. I didn’t see any signs at this point that he was stringing me along. It felt genuine.
Then he started asking me questions about the future around the 4th date. Like if I wanted any children and how many, if I wanted to get married someday etc. Then we spent everyday together. I usually don’t move fast but since he was leaving soon I felt like we didn’t have much time. And the more I got to know him the more I liked him. I thought this whole time we were getting really serious. So at this point I was already starting to fall for this guy. Like, bad.
Then comes his flight. Before he left he said he would come back for me. I was supposed to move closer to the main city and get a place of my own, but he told me to hold it off until he comes back so we could move in together. He made all these promises and I believed him.
3 weeks in after leaving the country, and his texts and calls started getting sporadic. This obviously made me anxious, and I was never the one to open up about my feelings but I couldn’t stop worrying about things fizzling out so I sent him a text:
Me: hey, sorry if this is coming out of nowhere. I just have a feeling like I’m not being prioritized. Which I get cause a lot of stuff is happening with you, but I also think that’s the best time to show if you really care. But right now I don’t really feel that from you. I guess get your stuff sorted out first and I’ll do what feels right for me.
Him: I believe you deserve a better answer because you’ve been nice to me. I am truly sorry I wasn’t there for you texting and talking more, I really tried in the beginning, and these past few days I met someone and I want to have a family with this person. I hope you find that person that will love you right, please be happy and sorry again.
I was gutted. I am a wreck. My confidence down the drain. I feel so unwanted and replaceable and easy to discard just like that.
I have no plans of replying to him, and I want him out of my life but at the same time I feel so lost and it’s just a crushing feeling for him to end things like this.
What the hell do I do from here? I feel so lost right now. And I have never in my 30 years of being alive fell this hard for someone, so I don’t know how to navigate this feeling. My feelings are all over the place and I can’t focus on anything. Has anyone experienced something like this? What do I even do. I just want to feel happy again.
I need words of wisdom. Please give me advice.