I was seeing a girl for ~2 months. it started very intense and in the honeymoon stage. we went on two dates over 2 weeks, and then we saw each other almost every day for the next 2 weeks. sleeping together, spending the night, calling each other almost every day. essentially in the first 3 she was very open and communicative at first, telling me how much she likes me, how much she feels seen by me, how she "can't believe im real". it felt like a strong and real connection all around. then I went away for 10 days on a trip, we talked on the phone a couple times, she'd send me texts that she misses me. everything felt very good and normal
when i got back from the trip, we talked about the relationship and how we should take things slower. i totally agreed and thought we reached an understanding. we'd aim to see each other about once a week, and let things grow. she is newly in therapy, newly on psychiatric medication, and said she was in a very emotionally fragile state, not ready for a committed relationship. she described herself as an avoidant person, but so far hadn't been avoidant with me at all. i was okay with that all and told her she can take as much space as she needs. after that talk we continued to call or text each other almost every other day and made plans to see each other.
then one day she cancelled dinner plans 2 hours before hand because she was having a really anxious day. then when eventually met up for dinner a couple days later, she ghosted me for a week afterwards. i was so thrown off since we were communicating so regularly before, and got really worried. i called her after 4 days of silence, no response. texted her 2 days after that, no response. and then the day after that i broke down sending a text saying i could take the hint from the silence, but i need a bit of communication and closure. she called me the next day and ended things, saying she needs to be alone and focus on herself, friendships, and mental health and doesn't have the space to show up in a relationship now.
im beating myself up over sending that last text. i should've been strong enough in myself to sit in the silence and let her come to me. i knew she was an avoidant person and probably needed space, but i let the anxious feelings get the better of me. if i had played to slower and projected strength, i bet we'd still be together. we had a really strong connection and im missing her a lot now. how can i reframe what happened to get over this faster?