TLDR; I challenged myself to go a year without dating apps, and in turn, I found more joy in my life 🙂
About a year ago, I (25F), made a post about how I was "romantically frustrated" with dating apps and my overall dating life. The post did not get much traction, only one person left a comment on it. They told me to get off the dating apps, so I did. Since I was like 19, I've been on and off the apps, taking three-month breaks in between. I wanted to challenge myself and see if I could go at least a year without them. To not be tempted by wine-drunken nights and download the apps "just because." So I wanted to share some highlights/lessons learned, and who knows? Maybe someone will see this as their sign to take a breather and get off the dating apps.
- I traveled (solo and with friends) a lot more. A solo trip to NYC has been on my bucket list for years, and I was finally able to cross that off!
- I went on more solo dates – dinners, movies, distillery tours, aquarium visits, live orchestra, boat tours, etc (my pockets do hurt a bit but all worthwhile).
- I have new hobbies! I read alot more (I have read more books this year than I have in the last decade), and I joined a local trivia team. I am constantly trying new things, for example, I went to a kpop concert fo the first time last month and I had so much fun (s/o to any antiny's reading this)!
- I feel like I am more in tune with everyday interactions. I have more conversations with strangers in public and I feel more connected to my community.
On the other hand, my dating life has not changed much. Even when meeting men in real life, I would get ghosted. I attended a singles mixer (solo) and ended up getting stood up on a date. BUT! I did make a new female friend at the event. I have been approached by men much more than I expected, but, they all happened to be way older (like twice my age) for my liking. Don't get me wrong, sometimes, I do get lonely and crave a romantic partnership. But, I see myself doing this less and less as I invest more time in cherishing my friendships and myself. In this year that I have 'decentered dating,' I have learned alot about myself, the woman I was, and the woman I want to be. Getting out of the mindset of 'I hope I meet a man here today' really helped. Give yourself permission to simply enjoy the moment. It will all be worth it! Being said, I have better understanding of what I want and the partner I want to be.
At the moment, I do not have the rushing desire to get back on the apps. Lol, that may change, but for now I am good. And I am so proud of myself for going a year without them!