This is a follow up to this I posted months ago https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenOver30/comments/1hvwey5/anyones_parents_become_more_unhinged_as_theyve/
I've recently cut off my dad after getting into a BIG argument last time I visited my parents with my family. We both said some pretty harsh words to each other and stirred the pot. What really crossed the line for me was the next morning he blew up in front of my wife and kids as we were all eating breakfast. My wife got involved after he tried to badmouth me to my 2 year old saying "good morning! your daddy tried to hit me last night!" trying to get a rise out of me but he poked mama bear. My wife interjected and kinda shocked my dad.
Since then I've completely cut him off. Blocked him on everything and told my mom I have 0 plans to talk to him or see him. I've apologized to her that I've made her life harder. My mom tells me he has been fuming for weeks about this and that I should apologize to him. I told her that I will ONLY make amends if he gets help for himself. I don't care about an apology from him but if he gets tested for dementia, thyroid, blood pressure etc. or even just goes to therapy about his constant anger, I will make amends with him. But if I apologize now, he'll just be enabled to continue his A-hole ways. I told her its best that I just completely cut off all contact from him to prevent making things even worse.
It's been hard on my mom which I feel really bad for. She has to feel like she's picking sides or tip toe around my dad to talk to me and see me and her grandkids. Sometimes she'll say she'll threaten him with divorce and other times she's asking me to talk to apologize to him. But even before this incident he has been an A-hole for the past year and my mom would always vent to me about him. Getting mad at her, road rage, angry at cashiers, getting mad at someone not saying thank you.
To maintain my sanity and peace amongst an already busy work schedule and taking care of 2 babies at home, I've decided to cut him off.