I (32F) have a complicated relationship with my mother—she tries, but isn’t really able to give me the mother-daughter relationship I see most of my friends have. My father’s extended family that we are in touch with is small but good, they are just far and have never been part of my everyday life. Growing up, we lived very close to some of my mother’s family and they were a huge part of my life. My mother had a falling out with them when I was 13 and they were suddenly out of my life forever. Shortly after I met my now husband (34M) and then in college we had an extremely tight group of friends. They all became my new family and the emptiness I felt from not having a blood family was easily ignored.
During Covid we were reaching our thirties and everyone began to move away, back home to their real families to have children. It has been 5 years now of having intensely strong feelings of abandonment, sadness, and loneliness trying very hard to process this in a healthy way. The feelings are still overwhelming and becoming harder and harder for me to cope with. I feel hopeless, wondering if I will ever feel better, or if I’m stuck pining after the feeling of having a family in my 20s and before 13 forever, and never being able to get it back. My husband is great, but I yearn for a family.
I have been in therapy this whole time and talked this to death. Honestly it makes me feel more hopeless. I’ve examined why I feel this way, come to terms with other peoples’ choices, but nothing has blunted the sadness and envy I feel. Early this year I felt so hopeless. It’s now been half a decade and I truly don’t think I can survive feeling this way for the rest of my life. I need some advice for how other people cope with similar feelings.
TL;DR: how have other people overcome the sadness and jealousy that comes with not having a family for support and love?