My boyfriend is very attractive and I am not. We met at work about 4.5yrs ago and I never in a million years would have thought he’d give me a chance, let alone be in a relationship with me. I did actually make the first move, though, after a coworker told me they thought we had “a vibe” and that they’d seen him “mess around with ugly girls” before. Maybe not the kindest encouragement, but it worked out.
While I was initially really excited to be dating a hot guy, it has taken a toll on me over the years. I try to not let it get to me, but it’s tough to go out with him and see him get stared at, complimented, and catcalled by women AND men basically every time we go out. Meanwhile, I get laughed at and mocked in public for being ugly. It usually doesn’t happen when my bf is around, but he has defended me when he was. And It’s not just strangers, my friends and family have told me that they think my bf is hotter than me (in subtle and explicit ways) too. He tells me he thinks I’m beautiful (though he has admitted that he wasn’t initially attracted to me when we met), so I don’t want to burden my partner with my insecurities. And I’m generally someone with a good self-esteem, but everyone keeps telling me that I’m less attractive. It’s making me feel like I am the Adam Sandler to his Jennifer Aniston, lol.
Is there anyone who has had a partner who was much more attractive? How did you handle insecurity without burdening your partner and/or become more comfortable with the dynamic?