Not sure if this is the right sub to vent but it's a dating sub and this topic is ig close to dating I'm gonna post here.

I just turned 22 this year and I've never had a girlfriend, first kiss, or popped my cherry (lol)

I'm embarrassed of that I'm afraid if I tell that to anyone they'll laugh at me and make fun of me. It's not because I'm "saving myself for the right girl" it's because idk how to talk to women that alone is embarrassing.

Idk how long I'll be like that people have already lost their virginity at age 16-18 here I am already in my 20s not even talking to girls.

I know there's people who are going to say I'm still young and have time which is true but idk how that'll be possible since my social anxiety is so bad and I'm afraid to talk to women so I might be a virgin for the rest of my life.

I just see my chances of getting a girlfriend is very slim.

PS I have hobbies, I like soccer, reading books, art etc and I have a part time job. So not like I'm doing nothing with my life so idk why it's so hard to get a girlfriend or talk to girls.


25 comments

  1. It’s not as big of a deal once you do that stuff I’m 22 and lost mine at 20. More people than you think are still virgins, I know several in their 20s.

  2. No rush. Sex isn’t cracked out to be all that jazzy. You’ll be there in no time. Patience is a virtue.

  4. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin in your 20s. Go for what you want. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.

    It will happen….and most likely when you least expect it.

    Your body count doesn’t define you.

  5. I had my 1st time when I was 22. I told that to couple girls and non of them found it funny. Honestly today I don’t care. I understand your point I was ashamed too but I’m telling you this from perspective 35 yo man. Nothing to worry, take care of yourself and build your confidence.

  6. Meh, there’s no rush. I had my first kiss at 22 and first sex at 25. It’s nice, but unless the other person is either very skilled or someone you have a great connection with, it’s mostly just wet and kind of awkward, and the hormones make weird emotions happen whether you like it or not.

    Also, women are just people, dude. Some of us kind of suck, some of us are pretty awesome, and a lot of us are actually really nice. You don’t even have to get it right right away for most of us to enjoy talking to you so long as you don’t show up trying to force a result from the encounter. Go somewhere that pertains to your interests, and you’ll already have something in common with any women you meet there! Start with that subject, and let the conversation move from there. Or, if she’s not into it, thank her for her time and find somebody else. No biggie. Practice will make it easier. I know it’s trite as hell, but you really do have time. 🙂

  7. 29 for me. No regrets. I was smooching earlier tho, 19ish.

    I highly recommend focusing on connection and having good communication amongst friends, building comfort with physical contact and emotional sharing etc, rather than focusing on sex.

    Sex without connection is meh.

    Connection without sex is still great. And it’s a lot easier to build.

  10. Sex is just that, sex. Focus on gaining your confidence and inner happiness. That’ll shine a lot more than your “body count” to any woman.

    For some of us it’s quite the opposite, I lost mine at 16 and now as an adult I know I wasn’t ready. I wish I would have waited and matured more with the person I was with.

  11. Honestly the label of virgin is a social thing and doesn’t matter in reality. There is no rush to jump into having sex, or even losing the virginity. Honestly the only person that’s going to know is you. And, quite frankly it’s no one else’s business what your prowess is.

    You don’t need to rush into anything. You can take your time, and no one’s going to care. Don’t be afraid about the awkward moments, because literally the first time with anyone new is always awkward. There is not a smooth transition the very first time anyone has sex with anyone else regardless of how many partners they’ve had. Especially if the person you are with is someone you really like.

  12. You are young bro.. having sex with multiple partners is not the flex you think it is. It will happen, just stop comparing your life to others – You are on your own journey!

    Try and be the best version of yourself and continue to do the hobbies you enjoy. Positive and happy people, naturally attract others! Gd luck!

  13. I lost my virginity at 25, had sex one more time at 25 with the same guy, but have not done it since (I am now 40). With the right person in the right environment sex and intimacy can be amazing experiences, but do not worry that you have not experienced that yet. There is a good reason to wait.

  14. I was 19 and I consider that to be young. You’re only 22. No reason to be embarrassed

  15. I envy you tbh, i had mine stolen at 7, i wish it had been a better situation

  16. I’m validating your pain right now

    Also, i promise it’s really that huge of a deal as people make it seem to be. Especially on Reddit, where it’s mostly a bunch of horny 13 year old boys pretending to know their way around everything

    *Most* people aren’t so stuck on your stats. & if they are, so what? Those that mind don’t matter, & those that matter don’t mind

  17. Eh. That’s really all I have to say about that: “Eh…”

    I’m 18f, still a virgin. And I’m honestly proud of it. Not because I’m celibate or even trying to stay a virgin. That’s not at all the case.

    But more so that I didn’t give in to the peer pressure that my friends tried to get me to fall into when I was around 16. Obviously, not friends with them anymore for many reasons.

    It’ll happen eventually. It’ll happen when the time is right and I am mentally/emotionally ready. It’ll happen when I want it to. I just don’t want it to happen yet.

    Right now, I’m focusing on my new job. I’m focusing on my healing and my self-love journey. I’m focusing on building connections with people. Whether that’s friends or family that I was never really close with. There’s so much more to life than sex.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m well aware that it can be a very deep, connecting, almost spiritual experience when you’re with the right person and you have the right intimacy, the right emotional intelligence that matches one another. I’m well aware that sex can be really great.

    But let’s be honest, it’s become very well known since social media became a thing that, sex doesn’t actually feel that good for most people. At least most women. And that’s scientifically proven.

    For the most part, sex isn’t all that. There’s an entire life and world out there beyond sexual pleasure. And that’s what I’m focusing on right now. The sex will come later.

  18. I had my first kiss at 23. No biggie there. Sadly haven’t had sex yet. (Not from the lack of trying. Just no intimacy with shitty exes)

    But you know what? That shouldn’t bother you. At the end of the day. Who cares if anyone is a virgin at this point. Just probably wouldn’t be the wisest to say to your future partner. Unless there’s genuine love there.

  19. Not matter the reason, there is nothing to be ashamed of being vergin especially in this generation where everyone throw it like piece of cake🙂

  20. You are in your 20, and you only have a part time job. That’s a problem. You need to get a full time job with benefits so that you can get into therapy and work through your issues with women and work towards dating.

    Your therapist will tell you that women are just people, and there is nothing to be afraid of. They will also tell you to start with making friends with them before you start asking them out on dates.

  22. I’m 20 and a virgin AND I have never had a kiss with a girl, I’m not that embarrassed at all just disappointed that I might never find a girl to spend the rest of my days with.

  23. I’m 30, you still have time. When I was 14 I was ashamed to be the only one who was a virgin in my friends group but now I don’t care anymore.
    If you stay true to yourself and don’t look like me it will happen !!

    Also I don’t try anymore because I’m tired of women telling me I’m the ugliest shit they’ve ever seen hahah

  25. Pop your Henry .. 😆😄 haha

    22 is absolutely still in the normal range.

    Maybe after 26, 27.., it is a little more unusual if your Henry isn’t popped.
    And even then , it doesn’t mean that it’s not gonna happen or that it’s weird. Some people get popped at 16 or 18, some at 28 or even older

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