Just been thinking recently that lots of my friends are getting into relationship left and right I'm struggling talking to women? Is this normal or am I just seeing what I want to see?

Me and my friends are in our 30s and I feel like my dating life has been the opposite. Whenever I try I get ghosted, stood up, or not taken seriously it's annoying but I try to not let it get to me?

Idk has anyone had this problem?


6 comments

  1. i had something similar ish a while back. relationships were elusive to me. even when i wanted one, women jusw saw me as a good time.

    but it turned out it was a.vibe i gave. either desperate for a relationship or wanting her to spite someone else.

    but it gave me time to realize i needed that time to become a better me so that i *could* be happy in a relationship. it’s up to YOU to be happy on your own and your girlfriend to *add* to your happiness (just as its your job to add to hers)

    but i get it, this sucks.

    to be taken seriously you have to lead the relationship from the start. it’s hard to put into words in a wall of text. its also nuanced, but in the end just treat dating like job applications. eventually you’ll get the job/relationship

  2. I think in your case It really unfortunately comes down to a mixture of attractiveness level(Power/Wealth/Looks/Positive Personality traits), and your Social Intelligence/Charisma/Aura.

    While I dont know you personally the fact that your user name is what it is I’m guessing that you probably lack awarness or care for how you are percieved by others. These people are probably detecting an underlying quality in how you communicate that is off putting and hence they quickly disengage.

    You probably need to do a bit of work on yourself and project a better vibe to get better results.

  3. Not the same situation but I understand where you’re coming from. I’m only 22f but all my friends and peers seem to meet people they are interested in all the time but I can’t seem to find anyone that is interesting AND available AND in the appropriate age range. It is tyring really

  4. Any relationship? Yeah, quite easy

    A good one where you’re also compatible? Not so much, unless you treat it like a job, it’s gonna be hard to randomly come across one

  5. I’m in my last year of my 20s (29M) and notice myself being moderately concerned myself lol you’re not alone.

    I was heavily traumatized growing up and have done a ton of work, but have recently started going out and socializing more and I’ve found that I also am great at making friends but not always relationship opportunities.

    I have a hard time differentiating my ADHD from my desire for connection, sometimes I over share and really get engaged in a conversation and it can be a lot for some people. I was so hyper fixated on finding a partner, if there was a woman I was interested in in a group of 20 people, I wouldn’t connect with anyone in the whole group besides her and make that my focus.

    As I go out more and more, it’s starting to fade away. I’m starting to connect with men more and interact with the group, and it’s not really about the relationship anymore as it is about having fun and learning from people.

    All of my friends younger and older than me are in relationships and I’m still single despite being very emotionally healthy, well adjusted, confident, and outgoing. I’m learning it’s just patience and persistence of meeting people.

    More reps. Keep trying without being consumed by the end goal. Enjoy the process of socializing and learning about people, don’t go in expecting to find your next relationship, go in expecting to connect with people and enjoy the moment, what it teaches you, and how you grow after walking away from things.

    I hope this helps OP, a lot of the answers are inside you but it can be hard to figure out what answers you need sometimes.

  6. Im 27 and can never get a date so from my perspective no. Time to live and die alone baby

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