I try to be grateful of the little things try new things. Smell the flowers, get some sun, try a new cafe or cook something new. Idk wtf else to do. I swear the last year I've done absolutely nothing but just exist and go to work while staying really fit and healthy. I don't crave alcohol anymore or vaping or porn watching or eating biscuits watching mindless crap online to 'pass time'.
But now I just feel like a complete empty boring loser. I don't know what this means now. I just exist and do the 'right' things and nobody is around in any capacity to say hey well done I'm proud of you keep going etc.
Like, I'm single as f and have no friends. Just sometimes wonder who I'm doing any of this for anyway. Can't wait to retire and then what, sit around feeling comfortable and just die in my sleep.
I feel like my life is a piece of plain white bread. And it's stale.
I work with my coworkers but don't like them. I've tried group meetups, but it was awkward as shit and full of guys. Taken the long way to work or a different way home. Listen to upbeat music in my car and at home. Sleep heaps. Eat super well. Saving money you know all that shit. But that's it. I just don't know what else.
I've read travel as a suggestion innumerable time. I'm legitimately not interested in it. I'm a homebody and that's fine with me.
Strange existential feelings have been settling in over the last year as I live each day the same as the last. Always doing everything as I know I should but nothing new is coming up or revealing itself to me. Stuck in time but doing well. No idea.
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Add actively working to improve your mental health to really change your life.
Counselling, therapy, 12 step programs, men’s groups. Everything gets easier to change when you start changing your historical beliefs that have created limitations.
Join toastmasters. Get comfortable with public speaking. You will be amazed at how you can improve your self confidence by being confident in public speaking. Once you have given a few speeches in front of a group of people, talking to your boss about a raise or and attractive member of your chosen gender is playing the game on easy mode.
Have a drink once in a while, eat something delicious, be kind to yourself. Try out new hobbies, even some expensive ones. Buy an electric guitar, a set of golf clubs, be interesting. Life shouldn’t be about min/maxing, it should be about trying things, making some mistakes, and learning and growing.
You need hobbies man. I actually long for boredom sometimes because I have so many things I want to do Im pretty much always entertained or busy.
First: hey well done I’m proud of you keep going
Second: seriously, good job cutting that stuff out. But you have to replace it with something. Listen to everyone else. Go to therapy, and try other hobbies. You have to cycle through things until you find one you like, one you can’t stop thinking about. Maybe it’s recreational sports, or volunteering. Go work at a soup kitchen, make a real impact, and see if you still feel stuck or empty.
>I’ve read travel as a suggestion innumerable time. I’m legitimately not interested in it. I’m a homebody and that’s fine with me.
I was the same way once, until I took my first trip, and now I enjoy traveling. I guess “Go touch grass” is legit.
I’ve started sailing. I’m out 2 nights a week and one morning on the weekend. Lots of volunteering to do when my sailing club hosts sailing championships every few weeks as well.
Next will be starting college in September 2 times in the evening after work to get some qualifications to get a better job.
Pick up PICKLEBALL!
First, good for you man. Healthy lifestyle, saving money, etc. That’s the hard part!
Dude, really try traveling. You aren’t young, healthy, fit, and have extra cash and free time forever. New city, new country, new experience can life changing. Similarly, maybe it inspires you to move somewhere if you’re feeling stagnant in your current location or job.
Mix up your hobbies. Take a tennis class, play pickleball, pick up cycling. Great way to fit something new and different into your lifestyle and mix it up with new people.
Read books, think about more education (college, masters, etc).
Volunteer. Do good things, meet new people.
Again, you’ve got the hard part down with fitness, savings, drinking. Take advantage of your age, health, lack of family commitments and get out there a little bit more.
I got into woodworking. Mainly refinishing furniture but there are woodworking classes at most community colleges.
>Like, I’m single as f and have no friends.
Make friends. Easier said than done, but it’s part of the process. All the things you cut out didn’t change your friends-status. You’re now just aware of something that was the case before.
>Can’t wait to retire and then what, sit around feeling comfortable and just die in my sleep.
This sounds miserable. Don’t aim for retirement. Find a way to aim for today. What can make any one day better than it is?
>I’ve tried group meetups
Yeah, meeting people to meet people is usually pretty awkward and unfulfilling. The only thing you have in common is that you’re meeting people. Ug. You’ve got to find somethings to be interested in… things that you can/should do with the people. Then, you meet people organically through doing the thing you like.
>I’ve read travel as a suggestion innumerable time.
I absolutely LOVE travel. 55 countries and counting. I find it thrilling to arrive in a new country and *live* the puzzle of trying to figure it out. I’ve met awesome people throughout my travels. That said, it’s not for everyone and I won’t try to talk you into it. But, you do need to find what moves and motivates *you.*
>Always doing everything as I know I should
But, what do you *want* to be doing. You need to find a passion or a goal. It doesn’t have to be a life goal – but a day goal or a week goal or a year goal. I say that like I have it figured out. I don’t. I quit my job two years ago to sail around the world. That’s over and now I freelance part time and have way too much time on my hands and I’m trying to figure out for myself what’s next. I know that I’m wasting time and the advice I give you is the same advice I’ve been mulling over for the last month. What’s next?
I love collecting hobbies. I add a new hobby to my list of hobbies each year. And that means I’ve tried a bunch of things in my life. I took banjo lessons earlier this year. A couple years ago, I got a HAM Radio license (do I use it? no – but it was fun to learn and get). I’m learning chess. I used to shoot pistols at the range weekly. I bike. I read. I listen to audio books. I played golf for 5 months (that was enough). Etc… Nothing jumps out at me right now, but I’ll find something.
Service is another avenue to explore. I used to teach an afterschool program. And before that, I was a CubScout Leader. Met some awesome kids… and some awesome parents. I’m still in touch with some of them (kids and parents).
I dunno. Hopefully there’s something here of encouragement. I personally opt to live with roommates to intentionally be more social and involved.
Reminds me of the movie American Beauty. You’ve done a lot of the hard work, I would suggest finding a hobby and a girlfriend. Fire up that dating app and try your luck
As others have said, hobbies. I picked up tennis, go hunting, and snow skiing. You’ll develop a social circle from those activities. Remember you can do things because they are fun without them being harmful.
Get a girl, marry her, and have some kids. Kids keep it interesting all the time.
Build a pc. Build an AR. Build anything, really. Get a dog. Get into home theater and piece together a setup. Volunteer somewhere. Take some classes on cpr or trauma first aid. Learn another language.
Try cocaine
Lmfao I couldn’t give you advice if I tried. I do what I want in moderation and enjoy life as much as I can.
Pickup hobbies where you are still physical that way you don’t feel guilty for skipping the gym.
Read more books that are educational.
Have you tried a creative hobby? I like to knit and crochet. It’s fun, passes the time, and after a while you have an interesting thing that you made that you can be proud of! I’ve made a couple pair of socks, hats, some wrist warmers, scarves, blankets, and my personal favorite: I like to make yarn out of worn-out T-shirts to crochet baskets out of.
Imagine one winter workday coming in wearing a bomb-ass sweater, your coworkers say, “Hey, nice sweater” and you get to say, “Thanks. I made it myself.”
Best of all, you can do it while watching movies or TV, so you also have that as a conversation starter.
Play.a team sport or even volunteer at a sports club that had gokd social events.
Done.
1st rule of ***** ****.
Have you tried getting involved with something where you help others? There are so many people in our world who need help (kids, the elderly, adults with special needs), I’ve found a lot of meaning in doing for others, and it really banished a lot of those feelings.
> Like, I’m single as f and have no friends. Just sometimes wonder who I’m doing any of this for anyway. Can’t wait to retire and then what, sit around feeling comfortable and just die in my sleep.
DINGDINGDING
This is not about needing ‘hobbies’ or anything like that. You need people, relationships, meaning.
> I work with my coworkers but don’t like them. I’ve tried group meetups, but it was awkward as shit and full of guys.
Step one is to stop thinking you’re too good for other people. Step two is to make habits of socialising, not just do it once, not instantly find your people, and give up.
The fact that you discount something just because it’s ‘full of guys’ says a lot about you. Stop treating life like you’re just shopping for a girlfriend. It isn’t taking much reading between the lines to see how shitty and self-defeating your attitudes are.
You need a vice. At least one
You need a hobby where you interact with other people. Like a local amateur sports League, or a gaming club, take some community ed classes maybe. Should have enough money for them if you stopped smoking and drinking.