I’m about to hit 30, and the last several months I have been inundated with thoughts about time. Both in my life, and as a concept.
I’ve started to see adults from my childhood and teenage years become old and withered. I’ve begun to notice the shelf life on celebrities. People who were once very en vogue, become old & forgotten.
I have started to feel that a decade, (or two, or three) really isn’t that long of a period of time. Hell, it’s starting to seem like a lifetime really isn’t that long. On a bad day it seems like a lifetime isn’t significant at all.
I feel like I am just “buying time” by working at my job. I am just passing time, getting one step closer to the grave. I don’t like my job at all, but it pays the bills. And if I give it enough time, I will have a pension. So I am basically a slave doing time in golden handcuffs.
I didn’t always feel this way. Up until recently, I lived “in the moment”. But that feels naive now. How the hell do you break this cycle after having this realization about the passage of time?