I don't know if it's me but it feels impossible to date. If I go on a dating app we talk for a little bit then never again. But if I get a number from face to face I never get a text back. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?? Why is it so hard when back years ago it WAS SO MUCH EASIER what changed? How can I adapt to this??
18 comments
It’s been made a numbers game, and you have been made a number. App designers want repeat customers, not to lose two customers and “match density” in one go, by people entering relationships.
On a more human level, people have fallen for the allure of infinite availability and a roster of people they talk to at the same time. It’s hard to cut through the noise when there are dozens of notifications of others.
Don’t give up and try meeting somebody IRL too.
It sounds like these people just aren’t interested. I am able to convert matches on the apps into dates
Culture, economy, information, social media, women earning more than men, and shorter attention spans are some of the reasons.
I’ve been called unattractive so that doesn’t help my case lol. But meeting people in real life definitely increases your chances but it is overall harder because the allure of someone always better for some people
Start swiping right on overweight and ugly people and you’ll have a date in like 30 minutes
There are a lot of factors. Things that come to mind:
1. The online war that is rapidly turning men against women and women against men. There’s very little room online for empathy especially when it comes to the opposite sex.
2. Reliance on digital relationships. Not just dating. Everyone. Relationships feel less and less organic and more like an extension of our smartphones.
3. Very little hope in both the economy and the future. People are tired. People are stressed. People are overwhelmed. I think this is partially due to the sheer amount of content/information we consume on a daily basis. There’s too much to think about and too much to worry about. We are constantly bombarded with information.
4. Porn. And the ease at which one can obtain it. Porn has always been isolating, but we are experiencing something unprecedented with the amount of porn available and how easily it can be obtained.
5. Standards have shifted dramatically for both genders. Our phones have opened up an entire new world of possibilities. Why make something work with someone who’s not EVERYTHING you want when you can just hop on your phone and find another person that you would have never met had it not been for your phone.
These are just a few and I’m sure we could all write entire essays on this subject but in short I believe it’s because of our cell phones.
We are becoming so reliant on the digital world, that we are quickly forgetting how to behave in the real one.
And dating is entirely about the real world.
Because you (and many others) are now addicted to gambling, which is a serious addiction. The dating sites understand exactly how that works.
Scammers and ghosting. Plus I keep hearing about abuse which is causing more mistrust. This white guy is not an abuser but have been told women struggle to believe. Finding a nice woman to date has been a huge challenge f2f and online.
Dating is becoming more and more looks based by the day.
Every single person says that they would never date someone that they were not attracted to.
And there are just not enough attractive people to fo around for all that want them.
The good looking people don’t even need an app to get dates or a relationship, so the apps are full of people that just don’t meet each others standards.
Maybe the people doing online dating are not serious about dating. But they want attention. So they create personalities for fun that wont go no where. Or they ghost.
Dating is harder nowadays because of the mass adoption of social media as the surrogate for irl socialization. People are more attracted to the likes and followers they receive than genuine human connection.
This phenomenon will only get worse as humans drift further away from another till they merge with technology completely.
TLTR Dating is extinct.
Being social and in general pursuing your interests hobbies and activities where women happen to be around might help.
Attraction and romantic relationship usually spawns when there is something combining you. Something third, like an interest group, basically anything that is social and makes you go out of the house and meet new people, travel and activeliy take part.
The dating apps have always been trash, but more so now than ever.
You meet a lot of mentally ill people or players and users.
Years ago? How far back are we going?
It’s people. It’s technology. It’s people and technology not playing nicely together.
Ilussion of wide choice on dating apps. Everyone behaves like we’re easily replaceable, unfortunately.
I feel like with the prominence of dating apps & social media, the next best thing is always just a click/swipe away. We’re hooked on instant gratification and don’t stick around long enough to see an ROI.
I have been fighting my mental health my whole life so for me that’s the biggest thing I have trouble with dating.
I am so mean to myself – working on it
Smartphones have made everyone become weird.