A tale as old as time.
I originally invited 14 people to my bachelor party, with 9 committing after deciding location, lodging, etc. Fast forward to this week and we are two weeks away from the trip. Unfortunately, one of my groomsmen suffered a scary injury last weekend and cannot make the trip. Unfortunate, but understandable.
However, one of my ushers called me yesterday to essentially say this: hey I know I committed to your bachelor party months ago, but I have a wedding the week before your trip, and another bachelor the week after your trip. I didn't even know about the other bachelor trip until recently, but he's a really good friend, and it's local, so I'm going to have to bail on yours. It's just really hard to make it all work with PTO too.
Obviously I didn't fight with him during the call, but now I have time to think on it, he's being a pretty shitty friend right? I get it, he lives on the west coast and the bachelor party is in the midwest, and yes asking your boss for 3 consecutive Thursday, Friday PTO is a lot, but we are all established in our careers for the most part, so I don't really buy it. Plus you are in my wedding party! Like come on dude.
My fiancee says this usher is just not a good friend. A couple years ago he bailed on our friend's Europe wedding because he failed his series 66 too many times and had to stay home to study and retake the test. I have also gone out twice to visit the state he lives in (and to a lesser extent, visit him), with the two of us going to see an NFL game last fall together. He's come out to where I live (east coast) once to see his brother, where we and some others got dinner together, but that also was a couple years ago.
Not sure if I'm putting more effort into this friendship or if I'm overthinking this situation way too much.